A review by lilbanne
This Is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel

5.0

What an emotional read! I was utterly absorbed in the story and characters in This is How It Always Is. It was an immersive experience about the ups and downs of having a child who is transgender. Although it is not a true story, the author, Laurie Frankel, draws on her own experiences as a parent of a child who is transgender. I appreciate Frankel's authenticity and vulnerability that she explores in the characters in This is How It Always Is, which delves into one family's struggles and how they come to terms together to support each other and their youngest family member, who has body dysmorphia.

The book is about Poppy, the youngest of five children to the parents of Rosie and Penn. Before Poppy is born, Rosie is sure her last child will be a girl, as she has four other boys, and there is something in her soul that feels this baby will be a girl. Of course, when Poppy is born a biological male, they name the baby Claude. It is clear early on that Claude is not comfortable in their skin. The book highlights the struggles of living in a binary world where we must fit someone in one box or another.

The characters in the story are not perfect, and they make mistakes. But this makes them more relatable. Rosie and Penn are trying their best to support all their children. The couple struggles with understanding Poppy and how to help them best as they begin to understand their identity. The two disagree often, and it strains their relationship and the rest of the family. Ultimately, the story is about love and being true to yourself. The story is bursting with love. Although there are tough topics, and it deals a lot with transphobia, it provides insight and beauty into a family that wants what's best for each other. This story will stick to your bones and give you a warm hug when you need a smile.