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A review by royvdb
How to Hug a Hedgehog: 12 Keys for Connecting with Teens by Brad Wilcox, Jerrick Robbins
2.0
I was harsh on Active Parenting for dated values and no real practical vallue. And I have to be at least as harsh here. Sometimes just patronizing and boomer-values. But sometimes just going against all research, just to keep a consistent narrative.
In the reviews you'll read a few examples. But the chapter on drugs... It takes the stepping stone Theory and dials it up to eleven. The theory states that people don't get into hard drugs from one day to another but use stepping Stones that are innocent at first but escallate. For example someone starts with social drinking, then on a party they might try a sigaret with their drink, from smoking a sigaret it's easy to try a joint, and on and on. It is largely disproved though, because there are just to many external variables influencing how and if someone escallates. But in this book it is not only promoted, but exagerated. For example: they talked about someone who wanted to be a pilot. Was really passionate about it. But then he started drinking and smoking. Before you knew he quit school. Guess the world will have a pilot less because of drugs.
Throughout the book you'll read patronizing sentences like "mom's need help too". The father is the disciplining factor, the mom is the one being at home cooking for the family, giving advice at home to the husband with the dificult job, the personal driver of the family. It doesn't even try to use gender neutral language to hide the traditional family roles. Just use 'parent' and make an effort to obscure the fact that this is a book for the 1980's.
The only message that is relevant is to keep the communication with the teen open, and try to relate with the teen, even if it means showing interest in a stupid hobby of the teen. But that could've been a tweet.
In the reviews you'll read a few examples. But the chapter on drugs... It takes the stepping stone Theory and dials it up to eleven. The theory states that people don't get into hard drugs from one day to another but use stepping Stones that are innocent at first but escallate. For example someone starts with social drinking, then on a party they might try a sigaret with their drink, from smoking a sigaret it's easy to try a joint, and on and on. It is largely disproved though, because there are just to many external variables influencing how and if someone escallates. But in this book it is not only promoted, but exagerated. For example: they talked about someone who wanted to be a pilot. Was really passionate about it. But then he started drinking and smoking. Before you knew he quit school. Guess the world will have a pilot less because of drugs.
Throughout the book you'll read patronizing sentences like "mom's need help too". The father is the disciplining factor, the mom is the one being at home cooking for the family, giving advice at home to the husband with the dificult job, the personal driver of the family. It doesn't even try to use gender neutral language to hide the traditional family roles. Just use 'parent' and make an effort to obscure the fact that this is a book for the 1980's.
The only message that is relevant is to keep the communication with the teen open, and try to relate with the teen, even if it means showing interest in a stupid hobby of the teen. But that could've been a tweet.