A review by disconightwing
September Girls by Bennett Madison
2.0
I'm going to attempt to write the review for September Girls in the style of September Girls.
Dude. Dude! I mean, for real, bro. You have like, no fuckin' idea, man. This total bro in this book. This bro! His ho mom like, goes on facebook and farms and shit. Who does that?! Bitches and hos. And then she like, runs off to women land, bro. So this dude and his bro and their dad, a total bro, scratch their balls and fart and go to the beach and shit. They meet these total skanks, and after a party or two they're tangled in some bitches' pussy-webs. And their slut mom shows up. Bitch. And our bro Sam pops his cherry and the dudes all go home. Slut mom may have gone too. Not sure.
...okay, so, that's really the book. And I mean, I say dude and sometimes I say bro. But I don't think I've ever met anyone ever who talks like that. And there was actually something about a pussy web. I read that quote to my mom, and she said "is that something we do?"
Yeah, pretty much that. Anyway, our main character, Sam, has lost his mother recently to something called Women's Land which she found through farmville, and in order to make them all feel better, Sam's dad takes him and his brother Jeff to the beach for the summer. Sam is a virgin who constantly reminds us that he has a penis, and Jeff's sole purpose in life is getting Sam laid. Somehow Sam has this friend who is absolutely disgusting who never really shows up in the book and I still hate him. There are some mermaids and
So I could go on some big angry rant, or I could just say don't read this if you're a girl. Or if you do want to read it, you should probably go into it thinking that it's some stoned teenage boy's wet dream. So, you know, dude.
Dude. Dude! I mean, for real, bro. You have like, no fuckin' idea, man. This total bro in this book. This bro! His ho mom like, goes on facebook and farms and shit. Who does that?! Bitches and hos. And then she like, runs off to women land, bro. So this dude and his bro and their dad, a total bro, scratch their balls and fart and go to the beach and shit. They meet these total skanks, and after a party or two they're tangled in some bitches' pussy-webs. And their slut mom shows up. Bitch. And our bro Sam pops his cherry and the dudes all go home. Slut mom may have gone too. Not sure.
...okay, so, that's really the book. And I mean, I say dude and sometimes I say bro. But I don't think I've ever met anyone ever who talks like that. And there was actually something about a pussy web. I read that quote to my mom, and she said "is that something we do?"
Yeah, pretty much that. Anyway, our main character, Sam, has lost his mother recently to something called Women's Land which she found through farmville, and in order to make them all feel better, Sam's dad takes him and his brother Jeff to the beach for the summer. Sam is a virgin who constantly reminds us that he has a penis, and Jeff's sole purpose in life is getting Sam laid. Somehow Sam has this friend who is absolutely disgusting who never really shows up in the book and I still hate him. There are some mermaids and
Spoiler
they need to sleep with a virgin guy to break some magic spell I don't understand in the first place.So I could go on some big angry rant, or I could just say don't read this if you're a girl. Or if you do want to read it, you should probably go into it thinking that it's some stoned teenage boy's wet dream. So, you know, dude.