A review by neatly_packaged_chaos
The Forty-Year-Old Virgin Witch by Raven Storm

fast-paced

0.25

I purchased this book because I’m a bit tired of reading about just-turned 18 year old shenanigans. So I thought this was gonna be like the movies ‘Forty-year-old virgin’ and ‘Never been kissed’ meets fantasy romance. You know, funny, light-hearted, with a healthy dash of romance, and some spice because why not. But no, just no …
Everything about the book falls flat. The characters and the world building are not fleshed out — everything (including the ‘not-like-other-girls’ main character) is very superficial. The male leads literally don’t have a reason to like her. No one’s motivations are explained or justified and everything occurs over the course of like eight days. You can’t tell me you’ve spent twenty years in hiding just to throw your whole life away because two handsome dudes rock up at your doorstep. This feels like the first draft of a book, not the final piece. It reads like bad fan fiction (I wouldn’t be surprised if some of the book was inspired by twilight). 
There were several grammatical and typesetting issues, some sentences don’t even make sense, and the scenes feel disjointed and rushed. I won’t even say the book ends on a cliffhanger, because it really just feels like the author just couldn’t be bothered writing anymore so just stopped.
Even if you buy this thinking you’re gonna get some smut-filled fantasy … you’re not (sorry to disappoint). Granted, I paid $1.50 for it so needless to say I got my money’s worth :( 
The only reason this didn’t get zero is because there where some slightly funny scenes that made me exhale from my nose. 
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