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A review by spearly
The Trouble with Hating You by Sajni Patel
emotional
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.0
Whenever Liya glanced at me, which wasn’t often, she had daggers for stares. Her annoyance level was ridiculous. But as soon as Ma engaged her in conversation, she was someone else entirely
The Trouble with Hating You is a story told in dual POV by Liya, a forward-thinking, stubborn, non-traditional Hindu girl who has effectively been shunned by her community due to her sexual history and no-nonsense demeanour, and Jay, an all-around "nice-guy" (my quotation marks, no the authors) who loved his family and has a grin that could drop your panties. They first meet when Liya literally runs into him when she's escaping dinner with her parents, because as she finds out, they plan to ambush her with the appearance of Jay, with whom they are trying to set her up in an arranged marriage.
I'm not going to pretend to know the intricacies of Hinduism or Indian culture, but I had a major problem with the insidious misogyny in this book. It was most likely included to foil our progressive couple, and the author does a great job tearing it down, particularly at the end (which I will get more into), but that didn't make it any less uncomfortable to read about. Still, I liked how Liya was quick to point it out and shut it down. I liked how she kept her head held high when faced with her communities judgement, disdain, and vicious rumours.
But. I didn't particularly like howher main trauma, the reason that she's so standoffish with guys and never lets anyone in, was because she was assaulted when she was 15. And I really didn't like how Jay is suddenly the one tearing down her walls, healing her. If you want to base your main character's personality on a past trauma, at least let their big breakthrough be something they find within themselves. People don't magically forget their past, their issues, and their scars just because the right person comes along. And if you ARE going to make that the case, then at least show them working through it together. I feel like all we got with Jay and Liya was a few "of course I believe you"s, a few tender kisses, and some long-winded i-love-you speeches at the end that felt more like exposition than a genuine declaration of love.
I ALSO... and this might be controversial.... DON'T LIKE JAY.
Sure, he came through at the end there. But as he's courting Liya, he is such a "nice-guy" it made me literally sick.
Here he is enlisted her friends to convince her to go out with him after she ALREADY SAID NO.
The gist of the twenty-mile-long text chain was this: Jay had asked them to convince me to go out with him! The audacity! Who did he think he was, getting my friends involved? And to make matters worse, of course they were on Team Freaking Jay.
Here he is acting in true nice-guy fashion when Liya continues to turn him down.
I opened my mouth to snap at him, but he walked out and said, “You messed this up, Liya. We would’ve been good together. We could’ve had something real."
Here he is in his inner dialogue calling Liya UNGRATEFUL because he bought her $1400 (!!!) shoes (they are not even friends yet, people), and she was like.... um, take these back weirdo:
Since I’d been helping Liya, that ungrateful woman, for the past few weeks, I’d skipped out on our meals, which upset Ma.
And you're trying to tell me Jay is supposed to be this progressive, "we're always equals mkay? we walk side by side, I will never be above you, we're gonna be uNtRAdiTIonAL like that" kinda guy? I got some news for you....
Anyway he asks her out like 5 times I think before she finally caves. And, look, okay, I get it's a romance novel and the whole point is that she wanted to say yes and he could tell that, and that it's supposed to be romantic that he doesn't give up, but like... how many times do women need to say no for men to take the fucking hint? How many times do men keep pushing because they think we, like Liya, actually want to say yes but are playing hard to get?
(I apologize for that very heteronormative statement. In my personal experience, and the experience of nearly very woman in my life, however, it has always been the man who doesn't take no for an answer.)
And this isn't a fluffy rom-com novel where that sort of toxic behaviour doesn't speak to any deeper issues within that novel's world. When it's all fluff, things aren't that deep. But this is a novel with heavy themes, like deep-rooted sexism in religion, believing women, family dynamics in traditional households... I couldn't ignore Jay's character, and it doesn't stack up against the other themes of the novel.
Unrelated, I found the whole workplace drama thing boring and unnecessary.
Also unrelated, is anyone else hella bothered when a character is like, declaring their love and is all "I fell in love the first moment I saw you" (or in Jay's case: “I’ve been in love with you since the day you walked into that diner, when I took you home and decided to buy these damn shoes.”) when it's so obviously not true?
Um. I think that's most of what I thought. I could probably add more but this review is too long already.
The Trouble with Hating You is a story told in dual POV by Liya, a forward-thinking, stubborn, non-traditional Hindu girl who has effectively been shunned by her community due to her sexual history and no-nonsense demeanour, and Jay, an all-around "nice-guy" (my quotation marks, no the authors) who loved his family and has a grin that could drop your panties. They first meet when Liya literally runs into him when she's escaping dinner with her parents, because as she finds out, they plan to ambush her with the appearance of Jay, with whom they are trying to set her up in an arranged marriage.
I'm not going to pretend to know the intricacies of Hinduism or Indian culture, but I had a major problem with the insidious misogyny in this book. It was most likely included to foil our progressive couple, and the author does a great job tearing it down, particularly at the end (which I will get more into), but that didn't make it any less uncomfortable to read about. Still, I liked how Liya was quick to point it out and shut it down. I liked how she kept her head held high when faced with her communities judgement, disdain, and vicious rumours.
But. I didn't particularly like how
I ALSO... and this might be controversial.... DON'T LIKE JAY.
Sure, he came through at the end there. But as he's courting Liya, he is such a "nice-guy" it made me literally sick.
Here he is enlisted her friends to convince her to go out with him after she ALREADY SAID NO.
The gist of the twenty-mile-long text chain was this: Jay had asked them to convince me to go out with him! The audacity! Who did he think he was, getting my friends involved? And to make matters worse, of course they were on Team Freaking Jay.
Here he is acting in true nice-guy fashion when Liya continues to turn him down.
I opened my mouth to snap at him, but he walked out and said, “You messed this up, Liya. We would’ve been good together. We could’ve had something real."
Here he is in his inner dialogue calling Liya UNGRATEFUL because he bought her $1400 (!!!) shoes (they are not even friends yet, people), and she was like.... um, take these back weirdo:
Since I’d been helping Liya, that ungrateful woman, for the past few weeks, I’d skipped out on our meals, which upset Ma.
And you're trying to tell me Jay is supposed to be this progressive, "we're always equals mkay? we walk side by side, I will never be above you, we're gonna be uNtRAdiTIonAL like that" kinda guy? I got some news for you....
Anyway he asks her out like 5 times I think before she finally caves. And, look, okay, I get it's a romance novel and the whole point is that she wanted to say yes and he could tell that, and that it's supposed to be romantic that he doesn't give up, but like... how many times do women need to say no for men to take the fucking hint? How many times do men keep pushing because they think we, like Liya, actually want to say yes but are playing hard to get?
(I apologize for that very heteronormative statement. In my personal experience, and the experience of nearly very woman in my life, however, it has always been the man who doesn't take no for an answer.)
And this isn't a fluffy rom-com novel where that sort of toxic behaviour doesn't speak to any deeper issues within that novel's world. When it's all fluff, things aren't that deep. But this is a novel with heavy themes, like deep-rooted sexism in religion, believing women, family dynamics in traditional households... I couldn't ignore Jay's character, and it doesn't stack up against the other themes of the novel.
Unrelated, I found the whole workplace drama thing boring and unnecessary.
Also unrelated, is anyone else hella bothered when a character is like, declaring their love and is all "I fell in love the first moment I saw you" (or in Jay's case: “I’ve been in love with you since the day you walked into that diner, when I took you home and decided to buy these damn shoes.”) when it's so obviously not true?
Um. I think that's most of what I thought. I could probably add more but this review is too long already.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Misogyny, Sexism, Medical content, Religious bigotry, and Death of parent
Moderate: Cursing, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, and Sexual assault