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A review by lumatere
Moonless by Crystal Collier
1.0
*Thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for sending me a copy for review.*
No. This is nowhere near Jane Eyre. Alexia WISHES she was Jane Eyre. This bitch is way too shallow, too goddamn selfish to be considered anywhere NEAR Eyre.
To say the least, Moonless was torture.
I have no energy to bring up all the faults this book has, so I shall briefly touch on a few. Actually, I think I'll also list all theshitty noteworthy quotes.
Once I started reading Moonless, I noticed the horribly juvenile writing. It did not flow, had weird word choice, and some sentences made absolutely no sense. There was an overabundance of adverbs (one of my main pet peeves), resulting in prose that was difficult to bear. Clearly, a better editor was needed to pay attention to these small yet important details. I mean, when you come across a sentence like "her jaw tumbled," you know the writing isn't going to be so great.
"What change, Alexia?"
"I - I am beautiful."
Oh please. This is ridiculous. Right before the love interest shows up, she suddenly becomes "beautiful?" *facepalm*
Characteristic of books like these, we have the traditional "perfect heroine" and - wait for it - the perfect hero. HE EVEN HAS THE SIGNATURE "MINOR FLAW" THAT ALL GARY STUS POSSESS. Aaaaand, best of all, the BLUE EYES (for the record, they're not piercing. They're fierce).
"He was a perfect paramour of twenty years, except for a jagged white scar cutting from below one eye down his cheek."
Oh, I'm sorry, were you expecting a historical fiction novel? For your own good, don't even bother. Were you looking for some character development and supernatural stuff? Either lower your expectations drastically or don't bother, yo.
I'm pretty sure we've all read books like this, so we all know what type of romance they had: insta-love. And obsession.
That's all I'm going to say. Really, this book has little potential, and if I were to list all the problems with this book, I would go way past the Goodreads review limit. So, unless you're a complete masochist, don't read this.
QUOTES TIME!
"Her knees trembled with giddiness from the protective rage behind his command."
"Alexia spent it listening and wishing for Sarah, or Father or Rupert - anyone to rescue her."
"He towered nearly twice her height, well not really" (my emphasis)
"He was the only thing that made sense anymore" (right after he held her as a prisoner)
"He guided her toward the empty study as she reminded herself again: she hated him. (lesson: when you hate someone, make out with them)
"Her jaw tumbled"
"I must know, were you running from me?"
"Me, running from you?" She scowled. "You left me!" (DRAMA QUEEN)
"She had to save him! He was going to marry her!"
"The sword dropped tediously"
"I love you, father, but he is my future." (for someone she has barely met.)
"For frightening me. For keeping me prisoner.' She wanted to continue by rebuking him for being so attractive and yet so unattainable.
And my favorite:
No. This is nowhere near Jane Eyre. Alexia WISHES she was Jane Eyre. This bitch is way too shallow, too goddamn selfish to be considered anywhere NEAR Eyre.
To say the least, Moonless was torture.
I have no energy to bring up all the faults this book has, so I shall briefly touch on a few. Actually, I think I'll also list all the
Once I started reading Moonless, I noticed the horribly juvenile writing. It did not flow, had weird word choice, and some sentences made absolutely no sense. There was an overabundance of adverbs (one of my main pet peeves), resulting in prose that was difficult to bear. Clearly, a better editor was needed to pay attention to these small yet important details. I mean, when you come across a sentence like "her jaw tumbled," you know the writing isn't going to be so great.
"What change, Alexia?"
"I - I am beautiful."
Oh please. This is ridiculous. Right before the love interest shows up, she suddenly becomes "beautiful?" *facepalm*
Characteristic of books like these, we have the traditional "perfect heroine" and - wait for it - the perfect hero. HE EVEN HAS THE SIGNATURE "MINOR FLAW" THAT ALL GARY STUS POSSESS. Aaaaand, best of all, the BLUE EYES (for the record, they're not piercing. They're fierce).
"He was a perfect paramour of twenty years, except for a jagged white scar cutting from below one eye down his cheek."
Oh, I'm sorry, were you expecting a historical fiction novel? For your own good, don't even bother. Were you looking for some character development and supernatural stuff? Either lower your expectations drastically or don't bother, yo.
I'm pretty sure we've all read books like this, so we all know what type of romance they had: insta-love. And obsession.
That's all I'm going to say. Really, this book has little potential, and if I were to list all the problems with this book, I would go way past the Goodreads review limit. So, unless you're a complete masochist, don't read this.
QUOTES TIME!
"Her knees trembled with giddiness from the protective rage behind his command."
"Alexia spent it listening and wishing for Sarah, or Father or Rupert - anyone to rescue her."
"He towered nearly twice her height, well not really" (my emphasis)
"He was the only thing that made sense anymore" (right after he held her as a prisoner)
"He guided her toward the empty study as she reminded herself again: she hated him. (lesson: when you hate someone, make out with them)
"Her jaw tumbled"
"I must know, were you running from me?"
"Me, running from you?" She scowled. "You left me!" (DRAMA QUEEN)
"She had to save him! He was going to marry her!"
"The sword dropped tediously"
"I love you, father, but he is my future." (for someone she has barely met.)
"For frightening me. For keeping me prisoner.' She wanted to continue by rebuking him for being so attractive and yet so unattainable.
And my favorite:
"His grimace deepened as he neared her side - not so much a grimace as a darkening of the eyes. She wanted to melt into the floor and cease to be."