A review by just_one_more_paige
All My Rage by Sabaa Tahir

challenging emotional reflective tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

 
This is two years in a row that I happened to start reading the National Book Award winner for Young people's Literature the same week it was announced. Last year, it was Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Melinda Lo and this year's is All My Rage by Sabaa Tahir. Two years of happy coincidences in a row. And two years of wonderful young adult literature in a row as well. 
 
Salahudin and Noor have been best friends since they met in kindergarten, both quiet and unsure, finding refuge in each other that made them inseparable for years. That is, until The Fight. They haven't spoken in the months since then and both are struggling without the other. Salahudin's mother, Misbah, is dying and he's scrambling to run the family hotel, care for his mother and prop up his father, who's fighting his own battle with addiction. Noor, having lost both her best friend and the maternal connection with Misbah, is struggling alone to survive life with her angry uncle, working in his liquor store and secretly applying to colleges to get herself out of their small town forever. When Salahudin's questionable choices, made to try and save the hotel, rocket out of control and the fallout pulls Noor in against her knowledge/wishes, the budding re-growth of their love for each other is shattered again. But this time, the consequences may be too much for their relationship to survive, and they must fight individually to defeat the monster of their past and present. 
 
Tahir wrote this novel in three voices, Salahudin (Sal), Noor, and Misbah. The first two alternate in the present tense, while Misbah's narration gives us background about her arranged marriage to Sal's father, Toufiq, and the events that led to them leaving Pakistan to "restart" together in California. I listened to the audiobook for this, thanks to Libro.fm for the ALC, and loved all three narrative voices in the recording.  As the story unfolded, I honestly felt like the dual perspectives of Sal and Noor were complex and developed enough to stand alone. While I had nothing against Misbah's sections, they were interesting and added nice context since she had unique relationships with both Sal and Noor, I wasn't sure that they were fully necessary or that they added enough to need to be included. Regardless, I was overall deeply impressed by the writing. This is my first experience reading Tahir, but I am sure it will not be my last (her series An Ember in the Ashes has been on my TBR for awhile, and this definitely makes me want to get to it sooner rather than later). She writes with an incredible deftness and authenticity about real emotions. It’s literarily evocative and simultaneously so…everyday...as feelings and reactions go. There is unrequited love, grief over losing a family member, guilt and love and gratitude, and the way that, combined, they overwhelm and confuse everything is just so universal and gorgeously expressed. Specifically, in consideration of the title, Tahir writes the intricacies of rage, an emotion of more nuance than it gets credit for (the anger, fear, grief, uncertainty, and helplessness that make it up), with exceptional skill; really a highlight of the novel for me.  
 
Looking past the writing to the plot and themes, this novel covered a lot of hot topics. I spent basically the entire time I was listening tense AF. It was scene after scene, interaction after interaction, of feeling right on the precipice of rage and grief overflowing into disaster, like major disaster too hard to recover from. The ebb and flow of coming right up to the edge and pulling back over and over, waiting for the inevitable fall (or falls, really, which absolutely did eventually come), was exhausting. And maybe some of the details were unnecessary, or perhaps they didn't all need to go to the extremes that they did (so we could have gotten a bit more focused in on a few more central ones). But for the most part, the role each topic played, or character they brought in, was connected back in more than one instance or with more than one thread, which did, on the whole, make the story stronger. As a heads up to potential readers, these themes include addiction, references to sexual assault, physical abuse, racism/racial slurs, religious bigotry, bullying, substance misuse/abuse, and some tense interactions with police and the justice system. I don't want to give too many specific details of how each plays into the greater plot, because the intensity and not-knowing was a large part of what made this such an impactful read. So, suffice it to say that you should be mentally prepared before reading this, but that it's a very worthwhile experience. 
 
Just a few additional closing thoughts. Tahir speaks a few times to the concept of  “people always see the wrong things” and  “people see what they want to” concepts in a way that so perfectly encapsulates it...which I know because reading about it was enraging. In exactly the way it needs to be to get the point across. There is a lovely weaving of music into the story, as reference and meaning and escape and release, and with literarily "bringing it back around" symbolism that ties it all back in so smoothly. Salahudin and Noor's interplay felt incredibly genuine, in the healthy and unhealthy ways, the support and the anger and the confusion of emotions, all of it. They were tangible. I was very invested in them both separately and together, and my heart went to them so many times, for so many reasons. And last, maybe I am cynical, but that ending seemed too..."everything works out" for the circumstances. Like, prices were paid, absolutely, but I don't have the kind of faith in the consideration of the US social justice system that was on display here. On the other hand, this was a beautiful example of the unconditional support faith communities can provide. 
 
This book packs a heavy dose of reality, but also a very fulfilling look at the strength you can draw from meaningful relationships. I was blown away by the emotions I experienced while reading - I've really never identified with a titulat emotion as much as I did here. And while I was at times overwhelmed, I also truly appreciate writing that can make me feel that much, be that invested. Wow.    
 
“A part of me is broken [...] Saying I'm not erases the fact that someone did something horrible to me. It erases that I've survived. Because yeah, maybe I'm broken, but I'm strong too. [...] I'm just saying, [...] that there are some things we shouldn't forget, because if we do, then bad people get away with bad shit. And we keep getting hurt.” 
 
“Becuase you're right. The body remembers. [...] But the body heals, too, Salahudin. Promise me you'll give yours that chance.” 
 
“A mother carries her child's innocence in her memory. No matter who they become. We carry our hopes and dreams for them and such things are woven into our souls as God is woven into the fibers of this earth.” 
Expand filter menu Content Warnings