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A review by cupidities
Stay Gold by Tobly McSmith
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.0
Stay Gold repeats the transphobic tropes of trans YA novels past, spinning a story where trans identity is inherently tragic, where trans people deserve to be hurt, where transphobes always deserve forgiveness if they ask for it, and where cis people need to step in to save trans people (because we definitely can't save ourselves). Read to the end for citations on transphobic tropes and myths and why they're harmful, but I will be sharing some spoilers and referring to detailed moments of transphobia in this review.
Pony starts at a new school and decides to pass a cis guy rather than tell his new classmates that he's actually a trans guy. He is told, by every character except for Wendy (who is only in the story for half a page), that this is wrong of him, that he's "lying" and "pretending" by letting others assume he's cis. His friend Max, who is also trans, tells Pony that he can't stay silent to protect himself when other trans people are getting hurt everyday because they are "honest" about who they are. Georgia, Pony's love interest, tells him it was wrong of him to "lie" about who he was to get her to like him, bemoaning that she didn't know he was trans before they kissed. There are countless instances of people telling Pony that it's wrong of him to pass, all of which perpetuate the same cisnormative perspective: that trans people are predatory and dangerous, that they need to "trick" people into caring for them.
Not only do other characters hold this perspective, but Pony does, too. He apologizes profusely to Georgia, throughout the book, for "lying" by not telling her that he was trans (when? the moment they met? is that when he should have outed himself?), as though he was misleading her about who he really was. At the end of the book, he apologizes to his friends at his new school for not telling them he was trans. Pony feels immensely guilty for "hiding" his trans identity from everyone around him, perpetuating the idea that he "owes" his identity to others. This is harmful - trans people do not owe cis people anything, and especially not a heads-up that they are trans when, in this world, being openly trans means getting hurt.
Georgia ends up telling Pony that she won't date him specifically because he's trans - she's concerned that being associated with a trans guy will hurt her "image," and she also holds a homophobic (and inaccurate) fear that dating a trans guy makes her gay. She holds Pony's identity against him, leading him on only to reject him because she's scared about the impact that transphobia will have on her - though it's not framed that way, it's framed as the way that Pony being trans will hurt her, not the way that her peers' bigotry will hurt her.
This story also perpetuates wrong body discourse as an integral part of trans identity. Pony feels that he was born in the "wrong body," which is mentioned time and again through the story; he also imagines a "right body" for himself, seen in his VR avatar and his desire to be reincarnated as a cis guy. Wrong body discourse reduces trans identity down to anatomy, fixating on genitals and other characteristics (such as Pony's desire for a flat chest). This pathologizes and medicalizes trans identity, and also hyper-fixates on sexualized and fetishized parts of trans people's bodies. When Georgia finds out Pony is trans, she wonders about what is under his binder; when he is attacked by two peers, they pull up his binder and laugh at his chest - these violent fixations on Pony's body as not matching his gender are perpetuated by wrong body discourse.
Furthermore, there is no joy in this story (except briefly, as the byproduct of cis ally intervention) - this is a story of trans experience as inherently tragic. Pony is attacked by two classmates immediately after coming out as trans to his school, and this attack is described in extreme detail. Additionally, Pony has suicidal ideations, which are also very graphic and on the page. The framing of Pony's pain and depression make his - and other trans youth's - experiences seem the natural result of being trans, that being trans means to live a painful and violent life. Even Pony's friendship with Max, his trans friend, brings him pain as his friend rejects him. The only joy Pony finds is when his attacks finally make the cis people in his life realize that he is a person who should be loved. Georgia only changes her mind on dating him when she sees how "brave" he is for "sharing his truth" in front of the entire school - and that doing so got him violently attacked. Georgia then shares Pony's story, without his permission, in an article she writes for the school newspaper (an article that is also filled with plenty of statistics about violence against trans youth, but no statistics about trans joy) - Georgia, as an ally, speaks for and over Pony, and this is what makes Pony's classmates and parents finally see him as a person whose identity needs to be respected. It is only through cis intervention after transphobic violence that people start to accept Pony for who he is.
This book reads as though it was intended for cis audiences, without a thought given to how triggering it would be for trans readers. The first half is full of definitions (including normalizing outdated and offensive terms, like FTM), and the second half is full of explicit and vivid transphobia against Pony. Transphobic slurs are on the page. A violent attack against him is written in gratuitous detail. Pony's suicidal ideation becomes constant and graphic, reminding the reader that being trans has become too painful for Pony.
This story is packed full of trauma porn - as much transphobic trauma as possible, as though that's what's necessary to make cis readers start to be allies for trans people. This is a book about a trans guy being exposed to endless pain, while transphobes are inspired to change and become allies for him because of his suffering.
Also, all through the book, Pony's deadname keeps getting teased - he'll start to say the first syllable and then cut himself off. I had hoped that this meant his deadname wouldn't appear on page, which would at least be one thing handled alright - but nope! Right at the end, his dad drops his deadname in front of Georgia, and it's on the page, for no reason. His deadname actually being on the page doesn't add anything, except I guess satisfying cis readers' intrusive curiosity.
For further reading on transphobia:
Pony starts at a new school and decides to pass a cis guy rather than tell his new classmates that he's actually a trans guy. He is told, by every character except for Wendy (who is only in the story for half a page), that this is wrong of him, that he's "lying" and "pretending" by letting others assume he's cis. His friend Max, who is also trans, tells Pony that he can't stay silent to protect himself when other trans people are getting hurt everyday because they are "honest" about who they are. Georgia, Pony's love interest, tells him it was wrong of him to "lie" about who he was to get her to like him, bemoaning that she didn't know he was trans before they kissed. There are countless instances of people telling Pony that it's wrong of him to pass, all of which perpetuate the same cisnormative perspective: that trans people are predatory and dangerous, that they need to "trick" people into caring for them.
Not only do other characters hold this perspective, but Pony does, too. He apologizes profusely to Georgia, throughout the book, for "lying" by not telling her that he was trans (when? the moment they met? is that when he should have outed himself?), as though he was misleading her about who he really was. At the end of the book, he apologizes to his friends at his new school for not telling them he was trans. Pony feels immensely guilty for "hiding" his trans identity from everyone around him, perpetuating the idea that he "owes" his identity to others. This is harmful - trans people do not owe cis people anything, and especially not a heads-up that they are trans when, in this world, being openly trans means getting hurt.
Georgia ends up telling Pony that she won't date him specifically because he's trans - she's concerned that being associated with a trans guy will hurt her "image," and she also holds a homophobic (and inaccurate) fear that dating a trans guy makes her gay. She holds Pony's identity against him, leading him on only to reject him because she's scared about the impact that transphobia will have on her - though it's not framed that way, it's framed as the way that Pony being trans will hurt her, not the way that her peers' bigotry will hurt her.
This story also perpetuates wrong body discourse as an integral part of trans identity. Pony feels that he was born in the "wrong body," which is mentioned time and again through the story; he also imagines a "right body" for himself, seen in his VR avatar and his desire to be reincarnated as a cis guy. Wrong body discourse reduces trans identity down to anatomy, fixating on genitals and other characteristics (such as Pony's desire for a flat chest). This pathologizes and medicalizes trans identity, and also hyper-fixates on sexualized and fetishized parts of trans people's bodies. When Georgia finds out Pony is trans, she wonders about what is under his binder; when he is attacked by two peers, they pull up his binder and laugh at his chest - these violent fixations on Pony's body as not matching his gender are perpetuated by wrong body discourse.
Furthermore, there is no joy in this story (except briefly, as the byproduct of cis ally intervention) - this is a story of trans experience as inherently tragic. Pony is attacked by two classmates immediately after coming out as trans to his school, and this attack is described in extreme detail. Additionally, Pony has suicidal ideations, which are also very graphic and on the page. The framing of Pony's pain and depression make his - and other trans youth's - experiences seem the natural result of being trans, that being trans means to live a painful and violent life. Even Pony's friendship with Max, his trans friend, brings him pain as his friend rejects him. The only joy Pony finds is when his attacks finally make the cis people in his life realize that he is a person who should be loved. Georgia only changes her mind on dating him when she sees how "brave" he is for "sharing his truth" in front of the entire school - and that doing so got him violently attacked. Georgia then shares Pony's story, without his permission, in an article she writes for the school newspaper (an article that is also filled with plenty of statistics about violence against trans youth, but no statistics about trans joy) - Georgia, as an ally, speaks for and over Pony, and this is what makes Pony's classmates and parents finally see him as a person whose identity needs to be respected. It is only through cis intervention after transphobic violence that people start to accept Pony for who he is.
This book reads as though it was intended for cis audiences, without a thought given to how triggering it would be for trans readers. The first half is full of definitions (including normalizing outdated and offensive terms, like FTM), and the second half is full of explicit and vivid transphobia against Pony. Transphobic slurs are on the page. A violent attack against him is written in gratuitous detail. Pony's suicidal ideation becomes constant and graphic, reminding the reader that being trans has become too painful for Pony.
This story is packed full of trauma porn - as much transphobic trauma as possible, as though that's what's necessary to make cis readers start to be allies for trans people. This is a book about a trans guy being exposed to endless pain, while transphobes are inspired to change and become allies for him because of his suffering.
Also, all through the book, Pony's deadname keeps getting teased - he'll start to say the first syllable and then cut himself off. I had hoped that this meant his deadname wouldn't appear on page, which would at least be one thing handled alright - but nope! Right at the end, his dad drops his deadname in front of Georgia, and it's on the page, for no reason. His deadname actually being on the page doesn't add anything, except I guess satisfying cis readers' intrusive curiosity.
For further reading on transphobia:
Bradford, N.J., & Syed, M. (2019). Transnormativity and transgender identity development: A master narrative approach. Sex Roles, 81, 306-325. DOI: 10.1007/s11199-018-0992-7
Pini, B., Keys, W., & Riggs, D.W. (2018). Transphobic tropes and young adult fiction: An analysis of Brian Katcher’s Almost Perfect. The Lion and the Unicorn, 42(1), 57-72. DOI: 10.1353/uni.2018.0004
Putzi, J. (2017). “None of this ‘trapped-in-a-man’s-body’ bullshit”: Transgender girls and wrong-body discourse in young adult fiction. Tulsa Studies in Women’s Literature, 36(2), 423-448. DOI: 10.1353/tsw.2017.0029
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body shaming, Bullying, Cursing, Deadnaming, Homophobia, Sexism, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, and Violence