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A review by nglofile
Did You Ever Have a Family by Bill Clegg
5.0
Here’s someone she understood. Someone alive but destroyed.
Though these sentences appear in the final pages, they provide the undercurrent for much of this incredible narrative. This is a book that hinges on one dramatic and devastating tragedy, but as the characters’ contributions are pieced together, a mosaic of life events, choices, or injustices are also laid bare. Very few can fully identify with the unimaginable loss of the inciting event; however, nearly all will feel the gut-punch of the ‘lesser’ losses that might also leave someone “alive but destroyed.” That incorporation doesn’t make this a depressing book. In a near-pointillist style, it is a book of beauty, of elegance, and of hope.
I concede there’s no way to characterize the plot of this story that doesn’t make it sound hard. Additionally, the choice to tell via multiple narrators (identified only minimally and with varying degrees of importance) can be a barrier to many a reader, especially those weary of how often this is used in contemporary writing. This may sound as though I'm trying to warn casual readers away. Quite the opposite, what I'm encouraging is to set preconceptions aside, give it a chance, and discover that the life narrative is worth it. It’s incredibly worth it.
In preparation for discussion leading, I usually engage in at least two reads: one in which I dip in and out, one in which I fully immerse. This, I enthusiastically attest, is a book that benefits by immersion. Don’t be afraid that sorrow will engulf you. The surprise is that giving yourself over to the flow of the author’s vision reveals an understanding of others that only lightens the experience. It opens to better dialogues. It fosters forgiveness. It offers a perspective on life that while not overtly spiritual has much to speak to our souls.
audiobook note: I’d intended my first experience of this work to be via audio, but the author’s reading was so egregiously off-putting that I had to abandon the format after only a few chapters. It genuinely saddens me to think of anyone who may judge the incredible quality of writing by the ruinous choice to have the author himself record the audiobook.
Though these sentences appear in the final pages, they provide the undercurrent for much of this incredible narrative. This is a book that hinges on one dramatic and devastating tragedy, but as the characters’ contributions are pieced together, a mosaic of life events, choices, or injustices are also laid bare. Very few can fully identify with the unimaginable loss of the inciting event; however, nearly all will feel the gut-punch of the ‘lesser’ losses that might also leave someone “alive but destroyed.” That incorporation doesn’t make this a depressing book. In a near-pointillist style, it is a book of beauty, of elegance, and of hope.
I concede there’s no way to characterize the plot of this story that doesn’t make it sound hard. Additionally, the choice to tell via multiple narrators (identified only minimally and with varying degrees of importance) can be a barrier to many a reader, especially those weary of how often this is used in contemporary writing. This may sound as though I'm trying to warn casual readers away. Quite the opposite, what I'm encouraging is to set preconceptions aside, give it a chance, and discover that the life narrative is worth it. It’s incredibly worth it.
In preparation for discussion leading, I usually engage in at least two reads: one in which I dip in and out, one in which I fully immerse. This, I enthusiastically attest, is a book that benefits by immersion. Don’t be afraid that sorrow will engulf you. The surprise is that giving yourself over to the flow of the author’s vision reveals an understanding of others that only lightens the experience. It opens to better dialogues. It fosters forgiveness. It offers a perspective on life that while not overtly spiritual has much to speak to our souls.
audiobook note: I’d intended my first experience of this work to be via audio, but the author’s reading was so egregiously off-putting that I had to abandon the format after only a few chapters. It genuinely saddens me to think of anyone who may judge the incredible quality of writing by the ruinous choice to have the author himself record the audiobook.