A review by b0ygenius
If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio

medium-paced
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? No

1.5

jesus christ where do i start. this book is marketed as being similar to the secret history and i LOVED the secret history so i really thought i would like this but …. oh my god i hated it. it’s so bad. the idea is kinda good in theory but the execution is just terrible. like i really cannot think of a single aspect of this book that i liked. the only thing is that it was easy to read i guess ? like i read it pretty fast. but i think that’s mostly because i didn’t want to dnf and i wanted to get through fast so i could move onto something better 💀

the characterization is so bad and since this story seems like it is supposed to be character driven it is a huuuuge issue and i think this is really what ruins the whole story. all my other complaints are just the nails in the coffin that is the terrible characterization. the amount of characters in the friend group we follow is way too many and it feels like there is no time taken to really let us get to know any of them. they all have one and only one personality trait and everything they do is centered around that one trait. meredith’s is repeatedly being called a slut and her only defining characteristic (at least, in oliver’s eyes) is her body which made me deeply uncomfortable the whole time. and speaking of that her relationship with oliver was so bad i really could not stand it they had no chemistry at all.

the plot was just so bad too. it was way too predictable and just fucking dumb so many parts of the story made me literally roll my eyes because it was just so bad. the prologues of each act were terrible who let those be kept in it just completely draws you out of the story while adding absolutely nothing to the plot.

the writing is terrible.. the shakespeare quoting was unbearable i usually like pretentious things but i just could not stand this it was so forced and unrealistic. there are so many times where it is blatantly obvious the author was trying to be deep but failed miserably and it just came off as cheesy and it was unbearable. there is zero nuance in anything in this story everything is so surface level. there is ZERO suspense like this is marketed as a mystery/thriller but nothing is mysterious bc anyone with half a brain could guess the ending and nothing felt suspenseful.

anyways this is so rambly and bad but i just want to be done writing this and i never want to think about this book again in my life
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