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A review by melissa_bookworm
Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward by Gemma Hartley
5.0
Emotional labour is something that I am really interested in, I didn't have a word for it until recently. Hartley does a great job of giving this phenomenon a well rounded view, whilst also giving her personal anecdotes on the issue. It is sadly a gendered issue within hetero couples (which obviously may be different of same-sex couples or trans people) where the woman is expected to take up the emotional labour and management of the house etc. Which may have been well and dandy when women didn't also work, but in 2022 its not so chill.
Basically, the unspoken expectation that women will take on the additional invisible labour of a home/relationship is a societal construct that can be changed if we are able to have open conversations with our partners and will allow both partners to be fully engaged within their relationship. It gives me hope.
Also, if you partner (who does a majority of the cooking/groceries) asks you what you want for dinner or where to get take out - please try not to say "Whatever you feel like", just make a decision for them. In my experience, being told "you choose/whatever you feel like" is not a treat, it is another choice I have to make when I'm already mentally exhausted.
Basically, the unspoken expectation that women will take on the additional invisible labour of a home/relationship is a societal construct that can be changed if we are able to have open conversations with our partners and will allow both partners to be fully engaged within their relationship. It gives me hope.
Also, if you partner (who does a majority of the cooking/groceries) asks you what you want for dinner or where to get take out - please try not to say "Whatever you feel like", just make a decision for them. In my experience, being told "you choose/whatever you feel like" is not a treat, it is another choice I have to make when I'm already mentally exhausted.