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A review by polarshark997
Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin
dark
emotional
reflective
tense
5.0
I am not sure now, in spite of everything, that it ever really meant more than that to me.
perhaps they thought that I was grieving for her. And I may have been, but if that is so, then I am grieving still.
"love him and let him love you. Do you think anything else under heaven really matters?"
I stared at absurd Paris, which was as cluttered now, under the scalding sun, as the landscape of my heart.
I simply wondered about the dead because their days had ended and I did not know how I would get through mine.
"Everything bad will happen--one of these days."
"You don't have a home until you leave it and then, when you have left it, you never can go back...It is one of those songs that somebody somewhere will always be singing."
..."And what would happen," I asked, idly, "if I shut my ears?"
I loved her as much as ever and I still did not know how much that was.
"and I watched you--and you never said anything---and you looked at me with such eyes, as though you did not see me."
"It is cruel to have made me want to live only to make my death more bloody."
"And you will have no idea of the life there, dripping and bursting and beautiful and terrible, as you have no idea of my life now."
But I felt that it was my heart which was broken. Something had broken in me to make me so cold and so perfectly still and far away.
"Do you know how you feel? Do you feel? What do you feel?"
One day I'll weep for this. One of these days I'll start to cry.
It seemed to happen all at once--I suppose that only means that it had been happening for a long time.
"but where are you? You've gone away somewhere and I can't find you."
She tried to smile; my heart turned over.
All the words I wanted to say closed my throat like weeds, and stopped my mouth.
"What's the good of an American who isn't happy? Happiness was all we had."
perhaps they thought that I was grieving for her. And I may have been, but if that is so, then I am grieving still.
"love him and let him love you. Do you think anything else under heaven really matters?"
I stared at absurd Paris, which was as cluttered now, under the scalding sun, as the landscape of my heart.
I simply wondered about the dead because their days had ended and I did not know how I would get through mine.
"Everything bad will happen--one of these days."
"You don't have a home until you leave it and then, when you have left it, you never can go back...It is one of those songs that somebody somewhere will always be singing."
..."And what would happen," I asked, idly, "if I shut my ears?"
I loved her as much as ever and I still did not know how much that was.
"and I watched you--and you never said anything---and you looked at me with such eyes, as though you did not see me."
"It is cruel to have made me want to live only to make my death more bloody."
"And you will have no idea of the life there, dripping and bursting and beautiful and terrible, as you have no idea of my life now."
But I felt that it was my heart which was broken. Something had broken in me to make me so cold and so perfectly still and far away.
"Do you know how you feel? Do you feel? What do you feel?"
One day I'll weep for this. One of these days I'll start to cry.
It seemed to happen all at once--I suppose that only means that it had been happening for a long time.
"but where are you? You've gone away somewhere and I can't find you."
She tried to smile; my heart turned over.
All the words I wanted to say closed my throat like weeds, and stopped my mouth.
"What's the good of an American who isn't happy? Happiness was all we had."