A review by rvlgonzalez
Also a Poet: Frank O'Hara, My Father, and Me by Ada Calhoun
I listened to the audiobook (which is exclusively out on audible, which is, I know, but hmu if you want my login) and that was great because you could actually hear the interview recordings.
So much of this book was so beautiful and I love Frank O'Hara and that's mostly how I feel about it.
One bit of critique, there was a bit of a lack of dots connecting about the way status and privileged get applied. It seemed like the author really wanted us to understand that she financially stood on her own, as notable when specifically mentioning her son goes to public school, or that her brooklyn apt is already too small for her fam and she couldn't realistically house her parents when they are temporarily displaced, how she chose to go to college where she could get a full ride instead of an ivy. However, she'll also mention her life spent in the Village, and being the granddaughter of the person who invented the lining for airline vomit bags, and her parents' trip taking, and their house in the catskills, and her house near theirs to which she went during the pandemic, and her dad's fireworks parties for 2000 people, and her dad's friendships with steve martin and myriad icons of the 1960s-on art scene. I feel like it is very clear that how she grew up makes it extremely difficult to accurately calibrate your expectations for financial comfort and access to the rest of the world.
I think there is a similar parallel about creative independence. I think this one is a bit better meditated upon because it's super tied up in how she as a daughter responded to her dad as father and a cultural figure. Even so, it clear she believes in working very hard and has done so in order to earn her acclaim separate from her dad, while sort of not fully acknowledging that working hard is almost never good enough. It's just not possible that being the child of this critic and poet of repute who pals around with some of the biggest figures of the new york arts and literary scene never opened doors. Again, it feels more palatable because it's so tied up in contextual angst and doesn't seem to really be/want to be calling to the outer world. Even so, it gets a little eye-roll-y when she expresses regret for what things could have been in her career if she'd just gone to an ivy and gotten the expected pedigree for a writer.
A succinct comment: great read, so glad I did it, I love frank so much and it was so interesting to hear about this world to which I don't have access and to hear about a person considering the influencing factors in her life, incl. the monumental significance of her father. Beautifully written. Ya gotta have some patience for pretty big myopia as it relates to how the rest of the world operates.
So much of this book was so beautiful and I love Frank O'Hara and that's mostly how I feel about it.
One bit of critique, there was a bit of a lack of dots connecting about the way status and privileged get applied. It seemed like the author really wanted us to understand that she financially stood on her own, as notable when specifically mentioning her son goes to public school, or that her brooklyn apt is already too small for her fam and she couldn't realistically house her parents when they are temporarily displaced, how she chose to go to college where she could get a full ride instead of an ivy. However, she'll also mention her life spent in the Village, and being the granddaughter of the person who invented the lining for airline vomit bags, and her parents' trip taking, and their house in the catskills, and her house near theirs to which she went during the pandemic, and her dad's fireworks parties for 2000 people, and her dad's friendships with steve martin and myriad icons of the 1960s-on art scene. I feel like it is very clear that how she grew up makes it extremely difficult to accurately calibrate your expectations for financial comfort and access to the rest of the world.
I think there is a similar parallel about creative independence. I think this one is a bit better meditated upon because it's super tied up in how she as a daughter responded to her dad as father and a cultural figure. Even so, it clear she believes in working very hard and has done so in order to earn her acclaim separate from her dad, while sort of not fully acknowledging that working hard is almost never good enough. It's just not possible that being the child of this critic and poet of repute who pals around with some of the biggest figures of the new york arts and literary scene never opened doors. Again, it feels more palatable because it's so tied up in contextual angst and doesn't seem to really be/want to be calling to the outer world. Even so, it gets a little eye-roll-y when she expresses regret for what things could have been in her career if she'd just gone to an ivy and gotten the expected pedigree for a writer.
A succinct comment: great read, so glad I did it, I love frank so much and it was so interesting to hear about this world to which I don't have access and to hear about a person considering the influencing factors in her life, incl. the monumental significance of her father. Beautifully written. Ya gotta have some patience for pretty big myopia as it relates to how the rest of the world operates.