A review by graciegrace1178
Love, theoretically by Ali Hazelwood

5.0

HAZELWOOOOOODDDD!!!!
The audiobook reader says “never” like Rebecca Soler. “*nehh [stretched and emphasized syllable]- vurr”
It’s honestly so crazy how Hazelwood has the capacity to bring such joy to my life. I am but a wee monstera, sitting in a ledge, sad and underwatered with my leaves drooping and Hazelwood is the person pouring the watering can over me.

Edit: literally this book is THE reason I have made it through this (spring 2024) semester with at least SOME of my former grasp on reality intact. Hazelwood, you have kept me sane. As sane as academia would allow anyway.

Grad school guiding star: I owe so much to Elsie and her relationships with various sucky individuals for helping me figure out the nightmare of academia politics. She is my guiding star rn. Honestly, I know this book is known for the romcom-ish-ness, but I don’t read (and reread and reread and reread and reread-) this for the romance. I read it as a guidebook for getting through grad school with no guiding template or sense of like,, what to Do ever. Truly, GENUINELY, cannot express enough how much this book means to me for actually TALKING about grad school life and academia life in REAL LIFE TERMS when NOBODY ELSE DOES. It’s like talking to an older, wiser sister who Knows Things and still Makes Mistakes but wants to impart wisdom to make your (the reader’s) life easier.

Chameleon-ing: other people??? Have systems for it too???? To hear it articulated like this???? I’m in shock. I have BEEN in shock since I first picked this up. Nobody talks about this e v e r and the concept of chameleon-ing as public dialogue is just,,, holy smokes.

Health and chameleon-ing and kindnesses: This book covers like the whole Chameleon thing FOR A CHARACTER WITH A SIGNIFICANT HEALTH ISSUE which is worthy of an essay all its own, but I’ll spare you all. Just. Nobody does that. Nobody DOES that. This is one of the very very rare books that feels like a support I didn’t know I could have or want. Like. I DIDNT know people could interact with Chameleon Disability Folks like that. I didn’t know that was an option. I didn’t know that there could be kindness and understanding like that!!!! I didn’t know that!!!!!!!!!! I’m in tears actually over the kindnesses of getting to know a person and their medical history and helping them to take care of themselves and EVEN OFFERING ADDITIONAL CARE JUST COS. And not even using their medical issues as a weapon against them!!! Treating another person bc it’s good for the mental health of BOTH parties.

Auditory anxiolytic: yea.

Puns: Elsie’s character is a wee bit inconsistent on puns it seems, but the puns are still high quality, and for that I cackle.

Edit for May 18 reread: i have probably reread this three full times in this “one” reread, but I’m just jumping all over the place in chapters. This book is Everything to me. Maybe I will write essays on it honestly. Maybe I would do well to tattoo the whole thing on my body. Additional notes:

Audiobook reader: i am in love with her