A review by book_concierge
The Optimist's Guide to Letting Go by Amy E. Reichert

4.0

This is an intergenerational story following Lorraine, her two daughters, Vicky and Gina, and Gina’s teen daughter May. Their relationships are fraught and characterized by discord and silence. But when Lorraine suffers a stroke, things begin to change.

I really liked this book and the way Reichert wrote these women. Gina is a young widow who uses her chef talents to run a gourmet grilled-cheese food truck. She’s hard working and afraid she’s repeating her mother’s mistakes with her own daughter, May. Gina’s always felt that her mother disapproved of her. She never wanted to spend time with the children of other members of the country club; and chaffed at her mother’s focus on hair, makeup, clothes and manners. Vicky’s always been the “favorite.” She has the perfect husband, three great kids, a beautiful house in a Chicago suburb, and Lorraine’s sense of style and attention to appearance.

Despite the troubles in her life, Gina maintains a sunny outlook, which just seems to further annoy both her mother and her daughter. Vicky and Gina, despite their differences, are close sisters. They clearly love and support one another. They share the memories of their late father’s aloof manner, the way he ran the household with an iron fist, and the way their mother acquiesced without complaint. And they share a love of Roza, their childhood nanny, who has helped Lorraine keep her own secret for over forty years. She becomes the pivotal character in revealing those skeletons in the closet and helping them all forge ahead.

It’s a delightful and heartfelt story. I find it interesting that once Lorraine loses her speech the communication between her and her daughters becomes clearer. She is forced to acknowledge the love her daughters have for her, the care they’ve provided and continue to provide, and the mistakes she’s made by keeping her secret and blindly following her husband’s wishes even after he died.

The book is divided into ten sections, each with three chapters, one each from Lorraine, Gina and May’s point of view. The ten section titles came from a list the author found in an article on “What to Ask Your Mother Before She Dies.” At a book club discussion meeting where Reichert was present, she encouraged us to ask our own parents and grandparents these questions. One attendee remarked that she is already writing her new grandchild a letter answering the questions. Great idea.

I also have to give a “warning” about the food descriptions here. Reichert’s books always have this element in them, and readers should be aware that they will find themselves craving all sorts of delicacies. Alas, this book did not contain any recipes.