A review by roseybot
Stormbreaker by Anthony Horowitz

2.0

Oh my god, what was this thing I subjected myself to? Alex Rider's uncle gets into a car accident, but it turns out it wasn't an accident -- his uncle was a spy! Fine, great, good beginning.

Then it gets into the government
Spoilerforcing
Alex to join them, and then there's a classic, VERY ANNOYING, training montage (how do you manage that in a book I don't know, because this book didn't do it!), along with angry, uninterested mentor types who grudgingly give Alex respect eventually.

Fine -- cliche, but fine. But among other things, the idea that a woman would have to go into a tech company as a "secretary" is hideous, and gross, and then the fact that this was hugely stereotypical was just so... boring.

The villain
Spoileris mad. That's the answer. And not even mad in a way that makes sense! WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE ABOUT SCHOOL CHILDREN FOR FORTY YEARS??? And decides the way to ruin their opponent is killing all current school children!?
is boring. It's DULL.

There's a whole scene where Alex has to swim through tunnels -- what's that about? Why do spies always have to swim through tunnels? Can I give them something more interesting to do? Cause I really would like to!