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A review by thatswhatshanread
Love, Theoretically by Ali Hazelwood
funny
lighthearted
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.0
I may be in the minority here, but… Well. Let me just word vomit below because I have a lot to say. This may be a jumbled mess of thoughts but I don’t know how else to review this. I’ve had some time to think about it, and I don’t know what else to say except ALL of this so. Yeah. Some spoilers ahead I guess???
This storyline is so TIRED. Please, Ali Hazelwood, get some new material. Enemies to lovers, terrible miscommunication that could’ve been nipped in the bud at the very beginning of the book if not for a stupid argument in which the heroine decides not to tell the truth for a very stupid reason. Cold, mysterious, unreadable massive huge beautiful man. Small, average, “I hate all men” quirky smart FMC who of course knew the MMC previously and OF COURSE what do you know—he’s standing between her and a new job. Students and staff alike fawning over him like Dr. Indiana Jones. I understand it’s a male-dominated field but maybe instead of continuing to harp on that you just focus on the female accomplishments?? Heroine who is a genius but also somehow so so stupid and unaware. She’s not like other girls, she loves cheese!!! Liking cheese is not a personality trait!!!! Always assuming the MMC hates her, vocalizes it, doesn’t let him correct her. MMC does everything in his power to get rid of meanies toward FMC without her knowing, tho it’s obvious!! BECAUSE HE LIKES HER!!! Damsel in distress. The fact that she has type 1 diabetes isn’t because it’s an important part of Elsie’s story, it’s literally there so that Jack can swoop in and save her when her sugar levels are messed up to show what a true hero he is to Elsie’s measly fragile form.
While I’m sure it’s all scientifically sound, it feels like Hazelwood is spouting off useless, unnecessary jargon that may or may not have anything to do with the plot, perhaps only serving to show that this is the STEM world and us common folk know nothing. Idk.
A PICTURE OF HER IN HIS BEDSIDE TABLE??? THEY’RE NOT EVEN FRIENDS THAT’S SO CREEPY.
“Feminist” but every single one of her main characters is a damsel in distress and needs the very big tall hulking man to take care of her and make everything better for her. Always has to be taken care of.
I just wanna talk to Ali’s husband. Are they okay?
NO MORE GROWLING!
WHY IS JACK ALWAYS WEARING A HENLEY?! THERE ARE FAR MORE ATTRACTIVE ITEMS OF CLOTHING!!
Love the Adam and Olive cameo tho ugh my heart.
The cheese fascination is just weird okay.
Why are there so many strange sexual situations and conversations. It just feels icky. Just feels almost nonconsensual. Says she doesn’t like it or do it but then he does it and suddenly it’s okay?? “I’m getting used to it.” GIRL WHAT.
So much of the miscommunication that goes on much longer than it needs to is simply because the characters don’t have the chance to FINISH THEIR FRICKIN SENTENCES.
Diverse neurodivergent rep, lgbtq rep is good tho.
Elsie acts like all of her students are dumb idiots; no idea how they got into college.
Stalker obsessive tendencies, they’re not even technically together and he’s already talking about moving in together and being in love???
Always “sweetheart” and she doesn’t even want to have sex!!! Like this is so unserious about something very serious!!! No protection of course that never happens, so vague. Man is always so experienced. Blah.
There does NOT need to always be a legit evil villain in a contemporary romance. Like wtf.
Jack wants Elsie to be honest about what she wants and not be a people pleaser but he LEGIT DECIDES FOR HER and tells her they’ll work on things that she doesn’t know she wants like that’s quite the opposite of what he preaches??!
Doesn’t remember taking off her bra but OH WELL!!
She says early on, adamantly, that she’s medium everything including medium height. SO HOW BIG AND TALL IS JACK THEN THAT HE STILL DWARVES HER?? 7 FT 7 IN?!
Things move and escalate incredibly too fast.
Elsie wouldn’t have made the decision in the end or be inclined to if it weren’t for Jack and his friends. STILL NOT EXACTLY HER OWN CHOICE IDK WHAT YOU SAY.
How can your supposed best friend NOT KNOW your real favorite movie???? TO BE COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS THAT YOU DON’T LIKE THE MOVIES SHE MAKES YOU WATCH?!!
I feel so strongly polarizing to Ali Hazelwood’s writing just because I loved LOVED The Love Hypothesis so much. And everything since has just been… copy and paste, and the paste is sticking and it gets printed wrong and things get hard to read and…
Still. I read it. I finished it. I was invested in it. Just. Bombastic side eye.
This storyline is so TIRED. Please, Ali Hazelwood, get some new material. Enemies to lovers, terrible miscommunication that could’ve been nipped in the bud at the very beginning of the book if not for a stupid argument in which the heroine decides not to tell the truth for a very stupid reason. Cold, mysterious, unreadable massive huge beautiful man. Small, average, “I hate all men” quirky smart FMC who of course knew the MMC previously and OF COURSE what do you know—he’s standing between her and a new job. Students and staff alike fawning over him like Dr. Indiana Jones. I understand it’s a male-dominated field but maybe instead of continuing to harp on that you just focus on the female accomplishments?? Heroine who is a genius but also somehow so so stupid and unaware. She’s not like other girls, she loves cheese!!! Liking cheese is not a personality trait!!!! Always assuming the MMC hates her, vocalizes it, doesn’t let him correct her. MMC does everything in his power to get rid of meanies toward FMC without her knowing, tho it’s obvious!! BECAUSE HE LIKES HER!!! Damsel in distress. The fact that she has type 1 diabetes isn’t because it’s an important part of Elsie’s story, it’s literally there so that Jack can swoop in and save her when her sugar levels are messed up to show what a true hero he is to Elsie’s measly fragile form.
While I’m sure it’s all scientifically sound, it feels like Hazelwood is spouting off useless, unnecessary jargon that may or may not have anything to do with the plot, perhaps only serving to show that this is the STEM world and us common folk know nothing. Idk.
A PICTURE OF HER IN HIS BEDSIDE TABLE??? THEY’RE NOT EVEN FRIENDS THAT’S SO CREEPY.
“Feminist” but every single one of her main characters is a damsel in distress and needs the very big tall hulking man to take care of her and make everything better for her. Always has to be taken care of.
I just wanna talk to Ali’s husband. Are they okay?
NO MORE GROWLING!
WHY IS JACK ALWAYS WEARING A HENLEY?! THERE ARE FAR MORE ATTRACTIVE ITEMS OF CLOTHING!!
Love the Adam and Olive cameo tho ugh my heart.
The cheese fascination is just weird okay.
Why are there so many strange sexual situations and conversations. It just feels icky. Just feels almost nonconsensual. Says she doesn’t like it or do it but then he does it and suddenly it’s okay?? “I’m getting used to it.” GIRL WHAT.
So much of the miscommunication that goes on much longer than it needs to is simply because the characters don’t have the chance to FINISH THEIR FRICKIN SENTENCES.
Diverse neurodivergent rep, lgbtq rep is good tho.
Elsie acts like all of her students are dumb idiots; no idea how they got into college.
Stalker obsessive tendencies, they’re not even technically together and he’s already talking about moving in together and being in love???
Always “sweetheart” and she doesn’t even want to have sex!!! Like this is so unserious about something very serious!!! No protection of course that never happens, so vague. Man is always so experienced. Blah.
There does NOT need to always be a legit evil villain in a contemporary romance. Like wtf.
Jack wants Elsie to be honest about what she wants and not be a people pleaser but he LEGIT DECIDES FOR HER and tells her they’ll work on things that she doesn’t know she wants like that’s quite the opposite of what he preaches??!
Doesn’t remember taking off her bra but OH WELL!!
She says early on, adamantly, that she’s medium everything including medium height. SO HOW BIG AND TALL IS JACK THEN THAT HE STILL DWARVES HER?? 7 FT 7 IN?!
Things move and escalate incredibly too fast.
Elsie wouldn’t have made the decision in the end or be inclined to if it weren’t for Jack and his friends. STILL NOT EXACTLY HER OWN CHOICE IDK WHAT YOU SAY.
How can your supposed best friend NOT KNOW your real favorite movie???? TO BE COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS THAT YOU DON’T LIKE THE MOVIES SHE MAKES YOU WATCH?!!
I feel so strongly polarizing to Ali Hazelwood’s writing just because I loved LOVED The Love Hypothesis so much. And everything since has just been… copy and paste, and the paste is sticking and it gets printed wrong and things get hard to read and…
Still. I read it. I finished it. I was invested in it. Just. Bombastic side eye.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Chronic illness, Cursing, Death, Infidelity, Misogyny, Sexism, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Outing, Gaslighting, and Alcohol
Moderate: Cancer, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Xenophobia, Grief, and Death of parent