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A review by thedekker
Critical Role: Vox Machina — Kith & Kin by Marieke Nijkamp
2.0
I'm gonna be honest, gang.
I'm not a die hard Critical Role fan, I like it just fine, I've enjoyed it, I appreciate it. I know the characters well enough that I figured, what the hell, I'll give this a shot.
Now that I've finished it, I'm not sure what we set out to accomplish here. There is so very little going on in this book that I'm baffled by just how 352 pages were able to be filled.
The book starts with Vex and Vax wandering around doing that thing they always do, and have always done; Speak to each other in a way that normal people don't. All interactions between Vex and Vax feel like two people who are desperately trying to impress upon those around them that they are SO CLOSE. You guys we're so close we're just so in sync. It never fails to come across as phony and corny.
Also lets take a moment to talk about how fucking weird the relationship between Vex and Vax actually is, folks. They are brother and sister. Why are they holding hands, and like giving each other prolonged hugs? Why is Vax brushing Vex's hair? Why are they saying things to each other like "I will never leave you" in a way that is OVERTLY romantic? It's really really toeing the line of incestuous and I'm tired of pretending like it isn't.
Anyway, Vex and Vax need work so they get a job to steal a ring from someone in a nearby town. And that's where the plot grinds to a halt for the next 200 pages.
The lion's share of this book is spent with Vex and Vax split up, and LOUDLY pining for one another (Seriously folks it's weird). And when they aren't having a mental breakdown because they can't physically see the other one, they are having the most surface level sob stories delivered to them by the respective leaders of two factions who hate each other.
That's another thing, this book has the emotional depth of a 2006 Livejournal written by a rich girl who is in shambles because her dad said she couldn't have that new Mercedes for her birthday. It's remarkably shallow. The themes are boilerplate "everyone's got a story that will break your heart" and "There's two sides to every story". And they're all handled with the care of trying to dust the antique china with a sledgehammer.
There are several flashback chapters interspersed between the present day stuff, and a lot of it is the childhood trauma equivalent of a moustache twirling villain tying people to train tracks. There is very little subtlety or nuance to just how sinister and horrible Vex and Vax's father is, and the greater elven community is to them. It's so grotesque, and not in the way that they were hoping, I think? Their father would do something so outrageously cruel and insidious and Vex and Vax would just kind of lull to one side, placing the back of their hand against their forehead like some southern belle who just got the vapors because their beau isn't coming home from the war.
Truth be told, I didn't realize how much this book irritated me on a fundamental level until I started writing this review but boy, oh boy. I can deal with overblown tragic backstory, I can deal with woefully unnatural dialogue, but if there's no interesting story to prop that shit up, then what are we doing? Why are we wasting each other's time?
Also, stop making two siblings fawn over each other. It's fucking weird man. Stop it.
I'm not a die hard Critical Role fan, I like it just fine, I've enjoyed it, I appreciate it. I know the characters well enough that I figured, what the hell, I'll give this a shot.
Now that I've finished it, I'm not sure what we set out to accomplish here. There is so very little going on in this book that I'm baffled by just how 352 pages were able to be filled.
The book starts with Vex and Vax wandering around doing that thing they always do, and have always done; Speak to each other in a way that normal people don't. All interactions between Vex and Vax feel like two people who are desperately trying to impress upon those around them that they are SO CLOSE. You guys we're so close we're just so in sync. It never fails to come across as phony and corny.
Also lets take a moment to talk about how fucking weird the relationship between Vex and Vax actually is, folks. They are brother and sister. Why are they holding hands, and like giving each other prolonged hugs? Why is Vax brushing Vex's hair? Why are they saying things to each other like "I will never leave you" in a way that is OVERTLY romantic? It's really really toeing the line of incestuous and I'm tired of pretending like it isn't.
Anyway, Vex and Vax need work so they get a job to steal a ring from someone in a nearby town. And that's where the plot grinds to a halt for the next 200 pages.
The lion's share of this book is spent with Vex and Vax split up, and LOUDLY pining for one another (Seriously folks it's weird). And when they aren't having a mental breakdown because they can't physically see the other one, they are having the most surface level sob stories delivered to them by the respective leaders of two factions who hate each other.
That's another thing, this book has the emotional depth of a 2006 Livejournal written by a rich girl who is in shambles because her dad said she couldn't have that new Mercedes for her birthday. It's remarkably shallow. The themes are boilerplate "everyone's got a story that will break your heart" and "There's two sides to every story". And they're all handled with the care of trying to dust the antique china with a sledgehammer.
There are several flashback chapters interspersed between the present day stuff, and a lot of it is the childhood trauma equivalent of a moustache twirling villain tying people to train tracks. There is very little subtlety or nuance to just how sinister and horrible Vex and Vax's father is, and the greater elven community is to them. It's so grotesque, and not in the way that they were hoping, I think? Their father would do something so outrageously cruel and insidious and Vex and Vax would just kind of lull to one side, placing the back of their hand against their forehead like some southern belle who just got the vapors because their beau isn't coming home from the war.
Truth be told, I didn't realize how much this book irritated me on a fundamental level until I started writing this review but boy, oh boy. I can deal with overblown tragic backstory, I can deal with woefully unnatural dialogue, but if there's no interesting story to prop that shit up, then what are we doing? Why are we wasting each other's time?
Also, stop making two siblings fawn over each other. It's fucking weird man. Stop it.