A review by zoemig
How to Talk to a Widower by Jonathan Tropper

3.0

"I had a wife. Her name was Hailey. Now she's gone. And so am I."

When How to Talk to a Widower by Jonathan Tropper begins Doug Parker is a twenty nine year old widower whose older wife Hailey has died in a plane crash. Now he's living in Hailey's suburban home and dealing with his sixteen year old stepson Russ who is increasingly getting in trouble. Doug turns his magazine column into a discussion on How To Talk to a Widower and becomes a local celebrity, as well as the guy everyone wants to set up on a date. After all, it's been a year since his wife's death and even his own family think he should be getting on with his life they all "seem to think that’s the shelf life on grief, like all you need is one round through all of the seasons and then you’re tapped like an empty keg, ready to start living again."

In How to Talk to a Widower Tropper has created an interesting and unique cast of characters including Doug's sisters Claire and Debbie. Claire and Doug are twins, a relationship I found particularly interesting since I'm a twin myself and Tropper's description of their bond was really touching:

"And that’s the beauty of having a twin who knows you better than you know yourself. I can know for you. If you needed a kidney or a liver transplant, I’d be your best bet, because inside we’re the same. I’m just applying the same principle. I’m going to give you some of my heart to use until yours starts beating again."

Claire has just left her husband after finding out she's pregnant and decided to move in Doug in order to get him to move on with his life, including reentering the dating pool. Doug's young sister Debbie is about to get married to one of Doug's really good friends, a man she just so happened to meet while Doug was sitting shiva in mourning for his wife and which Doug therefore resents her for. Add a father who has been left brain-damaged by a stroke and sometimes wakes up with no idea what year he is, Hailey's ex-husband and his new family, a sexy redhead who wants to sleep with Doug but happens to still be married, and the sensitive school counselor who's trying to help Russ and you have enough quirky characters to make a Coen brothers movie.

The problem with How to Talk to a Widower is that Tropper simply doesn't give himself enough time to develop the huge cast he introduces the reader to and so many of the plot lines end up rushed and underdeveloped. This is one case where I really think an extra hundred pages would have benefited the story. I also found the entire terribly indie- and although I felt Tropper did a good job portraying grief he never really managed to pull at my heartstrings in the way I expected. He did however, have a fantastic knack for dialogue which probably added to the fact that I think this would make a great movie. I also found Doug one of the less interesting characters in the book- I particularly loved Claire and though she was complex enough I'd be completely willing to read a book which featured her as a main character.

Without providing any spoilers, I will say that I found the ending of How to Talk to a Widower to be a bit overboard and unrealistic. Although I can appreciate Tropper's ability to get his characters out of outlandish situations, I didn't buy the violent personality he attributed to one character. The reader didn't know much about this character earlier, so it really comes out of nowhere and seems a bit ridiculous, as well as the subsequent events which involve a minor medical miracle. The lack of believability of these events made it difficult to remain fully involved in the story, and unfortunately let down the ending of the book for me. Overall I felt How to Talk to a Widower had a great premise and even better characters, but unfortunately Tropper overextends himself and as a result the story is weaker than I would have hoped for from an author who has more potential than he has fulfilled in this book. ***