A review by kayleyanne
Empress of a Thousand Skies by Rhoda Belleza
1.0
There's not a single galaxy in the fucking universe where this book wouldn't suck.
I was sold on the premise it was similar to The Lunar Chronicles which I love because they're so much fun.
No. Just no.
Rhee and Aly manage to lack a personality and be utter morons. The idea that Rhee could rule a planet is nothing short of hilarious, homegirl couldn't rule a playground of fucking toddlers even on her best day.
The cliffhanger chapters are hilarious; it's like an episode of writing for beginners and there's no real suspense because you know these two idiots will wrangle their way out of trouble - usually they're about to be caught or murdered. I'm a big advocate of the latter. Do me a favour and kill 'em PLEASE.
The world building is confusing. Three gazillion different planets with made up names. I couldn't tell you the planets the two protagonists belonged to if you held a gun to my head... and I have no idea of where they are in relation to one another. And there's made up swearing. Made up swearing is annoying as fuck. Either swear or don't but spare us the made up shit.
Seriously, don't bother. It's terrible. And not even in a this-is-objectively-bad-but-so-much-fun way. I stood on a plug the other day and have literal holes in my feet about a quarter of an inch deep. This book was worse. I thought my Jesus feet was the epitome of a shitty week but turns out this book is far more grim than the abject agony of standing on a three pin plug so thanks for that I guess.
I was sold on the premise it was similar to The Lunar Chronicles which I love because they're so much fun.
No. Just no.
Rhee and Aly manage to lack a personality and be utter morons. The idea that Rhee could rule a planet is nothing short of hilarious, homegirl couldn't rule a playground of fucking toddlers even on her best day.
The cliffhanger chapters are hilarious; it's like an episode of writing for beginners and there's no real suspense because you know these two idiots will wrangle their way out of trouble - usually they're about to be caught or murdered. I'm a big advocate of the latter. Do me a favour and kill 'em PLEASE.
The world building is confusing. Three gazillion different planets with made up names. I couldn't tell you the planets the two protagonists belonged to if you held a gun to my head... and I have no idea of where they are in relation to one another. And there's made up swearing. Made up swearing is annoying as fuck. Either swear or don't but spare us the made up shit.
Seriously, don't bother. It's terrible. And not even in a this-is-objectively-bad-but-so-much-fun way. I stood on a plug the other day and have literal holes in my feet about a quarter of an inch deep. This book was worse. I thought my Jesus feet was the epitome of a shitty week but turns out this book is far more grim than the abject agony of standing on a three pin plug so thanks for that I guess.