Scan barcode
A review by lilyantan
Three Hearts and Three Lions by Poul Anderson
2.0
*Yawns*
This was an extremely basic fantasy novel. It felt like the author was reading the following handbook:
The Idiots Guide to Writing a Fantasy Novel
1. Choose your Hero. Preferably a male. Someone with strong, chiseled features.
2. Put your Hero in an awkward, fantastical, situation. (In Poul's case, he transported his lead character to another world riddled with a war between magical beings and non magical beings.)
3. Send your Hero on a quest. And another one. And another one. In fact, send him on as many quests as you can. Oh ya, make sure he's in a forest and that there are howling wolves.
4. Give your Hero some Side-Kicks to aid him on his Quest(s). Make sure to include a good looking female of consenting age.
5. Sprinkle your story with dangerous situations. You may want to alternate between endangering your hero and endangering the fuckable female lead. This way, they can "Save" each other, and we can gag on the building sexual tension.
6. Introduce a flock of slick and cool bad guys.
7. Consumate the love between our heroes right before the big bang finale
8. Allow your hero to complete his final quest, most easily done by finding an object he seeks. (Over here we had a sword... how original).
9. Shut down your lap top and never attempt to write a novel again.
The End.
This was an extremely basic fantasy novel. It felt like the author was reading the following handbook:
The Idiots Guide to Writing a Fantasy Novel
1. Choose your Hero. Preferably a male. Someone with strong, chiseled features.
2. Put your Hero in an awkward, fantastical, situation. (In Poul's case, he transported his lead character to another world riddled with a war between magical beings and non magical beings.)
3. Send your Hero on a quest. And another one. And another one. In fact, send him on as many quests as you can. Oh ya, make sure he's in a forest and that there are howling wolves.
4. Give your Hero some Side-Kicks to aid him on his Quest(s). Make sure to include a good looking female of consenting age.
5. Sprinkle your story with dangerous situations. You may want to alternate between endangering your hero and endangering the
6. Introduce a flock of slick and cool bad guys.
7. Consumate the love between our heroes right before the big bang finale
8. Allow your hero to complete his final quest, most easily done by finding an object he seeks. (Over here we had a sword... how original).
9. Shut down your lap top and never attempt to write a novel again.
The End.