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A review by meimpink
Witch World by Christopher Pike
1.0
*CAUTION: read at your own risk, many spoilers, too many run-on-sentences to count, and lots of rambling/ranting/confusing stuff*
This book is so messed up in so many ways that I don't know where to start. The first few chapters were boring. The next four or so chapters were confusing, but interesting, the entire last half of the book would be best described in three letters: WTF? So many things went wrong at the end, that I sounded like I was going to cry when I was describing it to my sister.
*SPOILERS*
Moral of the story? Don't have sex until you're married and out of high school because otherwise you'll have a kidnapped daughter in another dimension, and your boyfriend's ex girlfriend will have a kid, also kidnapped. And you'll find out that you're a witch with a large number of witch genes, and your father still loves you even though he divorced your mother when you were six and left you all with nothing while he's freaking rich. And you'll realize that some people are very gifted at card games like blackjack that don't exist in other dimensions because people only play red queen. You'll also find out that everyone is called by their real first name in this other dimension, Witch World, rather than their nickname in Real World. And you'll also figure out that gunpowder and the modern-day 52-card deck of cards were introduced to the Romans much earlier than historians have gathered, and it's all because a crazy person called "The Alchemist" saved the life of one of the only two cool characters, showed him how to play cards and use gunpowder, and then stole money from card dealers who won this game of cards that he taught people how to play.
*SERIOUS SPOILERS*
And the only two cool characters in the entire book will die, leaving the reader extremely upset, and then you're boyfriend will accidentally kill himself in Real World to try to become a witch in Witch World (because, as all witches know, the only way to be conscious of what happens in both Witch World and Real World is to kill yourself, but bring yourself back to life by possessing the witch gene that will give you healing powers, otherwise you'll just die in Real World and be conscious in Witch World, but with all your memories from Real World.) And then the two-hundred year old man that is dating you're best friend, Alex/Alexis (depending on what world you're in), will reveal that he is actually the son of the villain and one of the only two cool characters. And then the sadistic villain will try to make you as evil and psycho as she is by introducing you to a third world (in which red is everybody's favorite color), but the joy of love and family will save you, so don't sweat it!
Still want to read Witch World?
This book is so messed up in so many ways that I don't know where to start. The first few chapters were boring. The next four or so chapters were confusing, but interesting, the entire last half of the book would be best described in three letters: WTF? So many things went wrong at the end, that I sounded like I was going to cry when I was describing it to my sister.
*SPOILERS*
Moral of the story? Don't have sex until you're married and out of high school because otherwise you'll have a kidnapped daughter in another dimension, and your boyfriend's ex girlfriend will have a kid, also kidnapped. And you'll find out that you're a witch with a large number of witch genes, and your father still loves you even though he divorced your mother when you were six and left you all with nothing while he's freaking rich. And you'll realize that some people are very gifted at card games like blackjack that don't exist in other dimensions because people only play red queen. You'll also find out that everyone is called by their real first name in this other dimension, Witch World, rather than their nickname in Real World. And you'll also figure out that gunpowder and the modern-day 52-card deck of cards were introduced to the Romans much earlier than historians have gathered, and it's all because a crazy person called "The Alchemist" saved the life of one of the only two cool characters, showed him how to play cards and use gunpowder, and then stole money from card dealers who won this game of cards that he taught people how to play.
*SERIOUS SPOILERS*
And the only two cool characters in the entire book will die, leaving the reader extremely upset, and then you're boyfriend will accidentally kill himself in Real World to try to become a witch in Witch World (because, as all witches know, the only way to be conscious of what happens in both Witch World and Real World is to kill yourself, but bring yourself back to life by possessing the witch gene that will give you healing powers, otherwise you'll just die in Real World and be conscious in Witch World, but with all your memories from Real World.) And then the two-hundred year old man that is dating you're best friend, Alex/Alexis (depending on what world you're in), will reveal that he is actually the son of the villain and one of the only two cool characters. And then the sadistic villain will try to make you as evil and psycho as she is by introducing you to a third world (in which red is everybody's favorite color), but the joy of love and family will save you, so don't sweat it!
Still want to read Witch World?