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A review by charmaineac
The Gatekeepers by Jen Lancaster
5.0
Um, TW: suicide, because obviously. I never thought I'd be the person to post one, but information on the Werther Effect had me convinced. This book shook me up — and from both perspectives. I think the scariest thing is that I am totally on the trajectory of becoming Stephen's parents. I want my future kids to excel. But I'm also going to be a management consultant, and that sometimes requires travelling Monday to Thursday. I'm okay with the lifestyle now, because I'm young. But I think about my co-workers, who are right beside me working from 6 am to 1 am straight. What impact does that have on the children?
And then there were the statistics on Asian-Americans specifically. I don't know if being Asian-American contributed to Stephen's situation since his parents seemed to completely "whitewash" their household. If anything, is it a result of tiger-parenting? Is it biological? I definitely want to know more, because it means that my peers and my future children are the ones most at risk. The stats on MIT shook me to the bone. Ever heard of Waterloo?
Speaking of peers — it was amazing to see someone truly depict what it's like to grow up in the pressure cooker of a pre-professional, upper-middle class environment. That's my university in a nutshell! And what Lancaster says in the author's note is true: it all just escalates as we grow older. There's competitiveness, there's rampant partying where all your friends are wasted (to escape? To forget?), there's drug use and abuse. What's sad is that we all have Mallory's aspirations to become investment bankers, consultants, lawyers, and other influential people. But what are the ramifications of that? That's what this book shows. And the sad part is that despite growing up in an environment with absentee parents, many of these kids want to follow in their footsteps.
I think the ending veered a little into after-school special territory, particularly with Liam and Mallory's sudden about-face. I wish some of her less-redeeming qualities were still on display by the end. I wish we saw more of a struggle of her trying to practice what she preached (that peer counselling session was POWERFUL).
Now, I'm sure books like these are controversial. Personally, I find this one incredibly powerful because it helped put me in several different people's perspectives: understanding their problems, coping mechanisms, actions, and reactions. It's tragic and raw. But also, above all other books I've read on this topic, this one was also incredibly informative. Sometimes this veered into "student rant/soliloquy" territory, but it still felt authentic and tasteful. Jen Lancaster wrote this with a light and sensitive touch, and I commend that!
And then there were the statistics on Asian-Americans specifically. I don't know if being Asian-American contributed to Stephen's situation since his parents seemed to completely "whitewash" their household. If anything, is it a result of tiger-parenting? Is it biological? I definitely want to know more, because it means that my peers and my future children are the ones most at risk. The stats on MIT shook me to the bone. Ever heard of Waterloo?
Speaking of peers — it was amazing to see someone truly depict what it's like to grow up in the pressure cooker of a pre-professional, upper-middle class environment. That's my university in a nutshell! And what Lancaster says in the author's note is true: it all just escalates as we grow older. There's competitiveness, there's rampant partying where all your friends are wasted (to escape? To forget?), there's drug use and abuse. What's sad is that we all have Mallory's aspirations to become investment bankers, consultants, lawyers, and other influential people. But what are the ramifications of that? That's what this book shows. And the sad part is that despite growing up in an environment with absentee parents, many of these kids want to follow in their footsteps.
I think the ending veered a little into after-school special territory, particularly with Liam and Mallory's sudden about-face. I wish some of her less-redeeming qualities were still on display by the end. I wish we saw more of a struggle of her trying to practice what she preached (that peer counselling session was POWERFUL).
Now, I'm sure books like these are controversial. Personally, I find this one incredibly powerful because it helped put me in several different people's perspectives: understanding their problems, coping mechanisms, actions, and reactions. It's tragic and raw. But also, above all other books I've read on this topic, this one was also incredibly informative. Sometimes this veered into "student rant/soliloquy" territory, but it still felt authentic and tasteful. Jen Lancaster wrote this with a light and sensitive touch, and I commend that!