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A review by tara3117
I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness by Claire Vaye Watkins
dark
funny
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.5
Like everyone here, I was pulled to this book by the title. It was nominated for a ton of awards.
Nothing that happens in this book is good. The people aren't good. Any of them. Maybe Theo, but he's so minor. He's probably a good guy. The narrator is absolute garbage when faced with any type of possibility. We have no idea where she gets money from. Book royalties maybe? I don't know. None of this woman's lifestyle makes any sense to me. The tag is that it's about "one woman's reckoning with marriage, work, sex, and motherhood." But she doesn't reckon with anything. She literally walks away from all of it except sex. There is no reckoning. She doesn't even make decisions with any kind of forethought whatsoever. She's a trainwreck and I feel misled.
There is so much borrowing from her parents' stories. She spends way too long retelling her dad's story, which isn't relevant at all except that it's salatious and mostly true. She spends too long retelling her mom's letter chronologically backwards, so when people pop up later, you vaguely remember that they end up being garbage later on, but when she's 11, they're cute. The only thing the letters serve is to set the scene of how messed up Claire is because her mom is. If anything, this book is about generational trauma, drugs and sex and not about marriage, work or motherhood at all. All of the back story basically tells you that this girl's trauma (of having a dead dad and a poor, drug-addicted mom) is what makes her interesting.
However, the writing is really good. The dialogue is pretty and realistic. The descriptions are beautiful. So that's where it's unfortunate. The author can write a fantastic sentence. She cannot write a story.
Nothing that happens in this book is good. The people aren't good. Any of them. Maybe Theo, but he's so minor. He's probably a good guy. The narrator is absolute garbage when faced with any type of possibility. We have no idea where she gets money from. Book royalties maybe? I don't know. None of this woman's lifestyle makes any sense to me. The tag is that it's about "one woman's reckoning with marriage, work, sex, and motherhood." But she doesn't reckon with anything. She literally walks away from all of it except sex. There is no reckoning. She doesn't even make decisions with any kind of forethought whatsoever. She's a trainwreck and I feel misled.
There is so much borrowing from her parents' stories. She spends way too long retelling her dad's story, which isn't relevant at all except that it's salatious and mostly true. She spends too long retelling her mom's letter chronologically backwards, so when people pop up later, you vaguely remember that they end up being garbage later on, but when she's 11, they're cute. The only thing the letters serve is to set the scene of how messed up Claire is because her mom is. If anything, this book is about generational trauma, drugs and sex and not about marriage, work or motherhood at all. All of the back story basically tells you that this girl's trauma (of having a dead dad and a poor, drug-addicted mom) is what makes her interesting.
However, the writing is really good. The dialogue is pretty and realistic. The descriptions are beautiful. So that's where it's unfortunate. The author can write a fantastic sentence. She cannot write a story.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Drug use, Sexual content, and Abandonment