A review by nickle34
The Adventurer's Son: A Memoir by Roman Dial

3.0

I struggle to write this, as it feels cheap to write critiques of someone's memoir of losing their son, and coming to terms with how your parental choices may have somehow contributed. I did enjoy this book's journey from fear to denial to acceptance. I felt like I was making the journey through the Kubler-Ross stages with the author, even including the bargaining he did with a reality TV show. In the end, he had great insight and depth into his role as father to his son, but also as an adventurer. So: It is a good book, and well worth your time to read. But I felt I needed to mention the things that were less positive. My complaints are largely around misogyny that I perceived throughout the book. First, the author misgendered (repeatedly) his graduate advisor, who is a well known biologist who is transgendered. I know that this biologist presented as male when Dr. Dial worked with her, but now she has transitioned and is female. She was a "she" long before this book was written. I don't know why that would be so hard to acknowledge, simply out of respect for person. The second issue is that I was very put off with how the author describes and portrays women throughout the book. His wife's appearance and how adept she is at caregiving is a recurring theme. She is really described as a one note person - the loving wife and mother - when I am certain there is so much more to discuss and write about there. I yearned for more. I was also put off by the repeated descriptions of the nurturing ways of his daughter (who is really barely mentioned in this memoir, even though it is a memoir about parenting and the effects that parental choices make.) I also struggled to get past that the author makes some shockingly selfish choices throughout his life yet rarely takes personal responsibility. I feel bad writing this, because who am I to judge, but I feel compelled to put this out there.