A review by wintersorbit
In My Dreams by Elin Annalise

1.0

With a cute illustrated cover, I expected this romance novel to be sweet and happy. Unfortunately, it focuses heavily on acephobia and negative asexual stereotypes. I'm glad the author got to explore her own experience with asexuality in this book, but if the length is about 130 pages, I think it's important to strike a good balance between happier and angstier moments. Polly, one of the main characters, has had terrible experiences in past relationships with allosexual men, which has resulted in a massive amount of baggage and internalized acephobia. Other people around her are at times ignorant about her sexuality, but because of her own insecurities she often lets that go unchallenged, which led to there being quite a bit of textbook acephobia from side characters that I really didn't enjoy being subjected to.

The romance in general also just feels rushed. One page Polly and Harry are still deeply insecure about pursuing a relationship, but a few pages later they're declaring their undying love for another... I hate that. The fact that they're estranged childhood and secondary school friends meant that they both already had feelings for the other at the start of the book, which meant this book was missing the romantic feelings build-up that I usually love so much.

I also briefly want to touch upon the weird, vaguely misogynistic comments that were present throughout the book about other women's make-up, bodies and things like showering routines. Harry at some point literally thinks about how fast Polly is with taking a shower, unlike other women he knows and I just want to know, why? Polly is also jealous of other women that Harry flirts with or has flirted with and seems to shame them for wearing make-up or comments about them being skinnier than her, and the way this was done just felt slightly off to me.

All in all, I was so happy I'd found a whole series of romance books with ace main characters, but this first installment was a massive disappointment. I'm so glad other asexual readers have found comfort in these stories, but for me the amount of acephobia was not properly balanced out with happier romantic moments, especially for a book that's quite short. I wouldn't recommend it, personally.

Content warnings: acephobia (from past partners, friends, and a past therapist), gun violence, threat of terrorist attack, family member having a heart attack, dubiously consenual sex (referenced), past family death by car accident, mention of the coronavirus pandemic