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A review by mwana
Blown by Mark Haskell Smith
5.0
WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE.
First of all, fuck this book and everything it stands for. Secondly, fuck this book sideways and everything it stands for. Thirdly, I fucking loved it.
Most importantly, thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Blown is a "satire" that covers the greed, sexual desire and crimes in Wall Street.
I honestly don't know how to react to this book except to say
The book follows Bryan, a 2D man who embezzled $17 million from his clients; Seo-Yun Kim, an aspergey Korean American woman who was as heartbreakingly straightforward as she was occasionally funny; Neal a lonely gay investigative accountant type person who the author seems to have a grudge against; Chloe, the most hateful career adventurer who is more bitter than a cracked capsule and frankly the absolute vilest of these people and; Piet a 4 ft 7 in man with a condition that made his dick extra large, is a bonafide ass whisperer and also single-handedly responsible for my favourite part of the entire "satire".
Piet had a unique relationship to women's bottoms. Not only was he a connoisseur of culo, an aficionado of ass, but he felt that women's asses communicated to him, through signs and sephamores. They sent him messages, gave him instructions, told him how they wanted to be caressed or if they preferred to be roughed up a bit. They teased, they invited, they told him stories of heartache and pain, triumph and ecstasy. His ability to read an ass wasn't a superpower; it was a skill he'd developed by paying close attention.
After Bryan steals the money and runs off to the Caribbean, Seo-yun takes the opportunity to escape her smothering fiance and accompanies Neal to apprehend Bryan and get their money back. Piet- a resident of the Caymans or wherever the fuck they were- was some kind of investigator who was to provide them with additional "muscle".
Things get complicated when a clammy-handed banker who had assisted Bryan to launder the money ends up dead.
It's worth it to note that this author went to the Game of Thrones school of killing off characters unexpectedly. Thankfully, this story has no likeable characters. They all range from the bizarre to the hilarious. And Neal was somewhat pitiable. But with how much misery the poor guy endures, and the ending the writer gave to him- you wonder if he has something against gay accountants just doing their jobs. The story itself was as far removed from my life as utterly possible. Like reading a page out of the devil's diary.
It reminded me of how I felt when I attended my first air show when I was 9. Planes! Cheers! Excitement! But I had no idea what the agenda of the event was or even who won at the end of the day.
I was just along for the ride.
So should you read it? Sure.
First of all, fuck this book and everything it stands for. Secondly, fuck this book sideways and everything it stands for. Thirdly, I fucking loved it.
Most importantly, thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Blown is a "satire" that covers the greed, sexual desire and crimes in Wall Street.
I honestly don't know how to react to this book except to say
The book follows Bryan, a 2D man who embezzled $17 million from his clients; Seo-Yun Kim, an aspergey Korean American woman who was as heartbreakingly straightforward as she was occasionally funny; Neal a lonely gay investigative accountant type person who the author seems to have a grudge against; Chloe, the most hateful career adventurer who is more bitter than a cracked capsule and frankly the absolute vilest of these people and; Piet a 4 ft 7 in man with a condition that made his dick extra large, is a bonafide ass whisperer and also single-handedly responsible for my favourite part of the entire "satire".
Piet had a unique relationship to women's bottoms. Not only was he a connoisseur of culo, an aficionado of ass, but he felt that women's asses communicated to him, through signs and sephamores. They sent him messages, gave him instructions, told him how they wanted to be caressed or if they preferred to be roughed up a bit. They teased, they invited, they told him stories of heartache and pain, triumph and ecstasy. His ability to read an ass wasn't a superpower; it was a skill he'd developed by paying close attention.
After Bryan steals the money and runs off to the Caribbean, Seo-yun takes the opportunity to escape her smothering fiance and accompanies Neal to apprehend Bryan and get their money back. Piet- a resident of the Caymans or wherever the fuck they were- was some kind of investigator who was to provide them with additional "muscle".
Things get complicated when a clammy-handed banker who had assisted Bryan to launder the money ends up dead.
It's worth it to note that this author went to the Game of Thrones school of killing off characters unexpectedly. Thankfully, this story has no likeable characters. They all range from the bizarre to the hilarious. And Neal was somewhat pitiable. But with how much misery the poor guy endures, and the ending the writer gave to him- you wonder if he has something against gay accountants just doing their jobs. The story itself was as far removed from my life as utterly possible. Like reading a page out of the devil's diary.
It reminded me of how I felt when I attended my first air show when I was 9. Planes! Cheers! Excitement! But I had no idea what the agenda of the event was or even who won at the end of the day.
I was just along for the ride.
So should you read it? Sure.