A review by offbalance80
The Obsidian Chamber by Douglas Preston, Lincoln Child
2.0
Oh, how are the mighty fallen. When I first discovered Relic, every book that followed was a treat.
Until they weren't.
I can't blame anyone for wanting to ride a gravy train, but this book should have been titled "The Obvious Cash In." The strain on credulity was so great, in terms of plot and character action, even for a series that has previously involved underwater monsters and overgrown man-babies in ways that made sense. I can almost see the phone call:
Publisher: Doug, Linc, you know how much we love your books.
Doug: We're really excited about these Gideon books, and....
Publisher: Yeah. About that. We're hoping you can maybe do a few more Pendergast for us.
::Mutes call::
Lincoln: I distinctly remember him drowning at the end of the last one?
Doug: Eh, we can fish him out. He's survived worse.
Lincoln: True.
::Unmutes call::
Doug: Yeah, we can probably manage that. There's always another case he can go on.
Publisher: Yeah. Um. There's something else. We'd REALLY love it if you could bring Diogenes back. Readers are just CRAZY about Pendergast's evil brother!! Is there ANY way?
::Mutes call::
L: Correct me if I'm wrong, Douglas, but did we or did we not drop Diogenes down a VOLCANO?
::Unmute::
D: That may be a little tricky - he was in a volcano last time we saw him.
P: I knooooow. But the reeeeaaaaaderrrrs and the saaaaallllles. Plus! You glimpsed him in the last book! He's ALIVE!
::mutes::
D: Pengergast's life was flashing before his fucking eyes. Of course he saw his brother!
L: A volcano. How do you survive a damn volcano?!
D: What about that Tom Hanks movie? Where jumps in the volcano but it pushes him out?
L: Seriously?
D: It's fiction. I dunno.
::Unmute::
L: Look, you guys, we're not sure how we feel about this. It's kind of a stretch for someone to survive a volcano.
Publisher: We could pay you ridiculous amounts of money!
::mute::
D: Boats are expensive. You?
L: Promised the wife a trip to Tuscany for our anniversary. A good one.
::unmutes::
D: Diogenes will return!!
As for the rest? I honestly wonder if they were just messing with us. No other explanation I can think of. Complete disappointment.
Until they weren't.
I can't blame anyone for wanting to ride a gravy train, but this book should have been titled "The Obvious Cash In." The strain on credulity was so great, in terms of plot and character action, even for a series that has previously involved underwater monsters and overgrown man-babies in ways that made sense. I can almost see the phone call:
Publisher: Doug, Linc, you know how much we love your books.
Doug: We're really excited about these Gideon books, and....
Publisher: Yeah. About that. We're hoping you can maybe do a few more Pendergast for us.
::Mutes call::
Lincoln: I distinctly remember him drowning at the end of the last one?
Doug: Eh, we can fish him out. He's survived worse.
Lincoln: True.
::Unmutes call::
Doug: Yeah, we can probably manage that. There's always another case he can go on.
Publisher: Yeah. Um. There's something else. We'd REALLY love it if you could bring Diogenes back. Readers are just CRAZY about Pendergast's evil brother!! Is there ANY way?
::Mutes call::
L: Correct me if I'm wrong, Douglas, but did we or did we not drop Diogenes down a VOLCANO?
::Unmute::
D: That may be a little tricky - he was in a volcano last time we saw him.
P: I knooooow. But the reeeeaaaaaderrrrs and the saaaaallllles. Plus! You glimpsed him in the last book! He's ALIVE!
::mutes::
D: Pengergast's life was flashing before his fucking eyes. Of course he saw his brother!
L: A volcano. How do you survive a damn volcano?!
D: What about that Tom Hanks movie? Where jumps in the volcano but it pushes him out?
L: Seriously?
D: It's fiction. I dunno.
::Unmute::
L: Look, you guys, we're not sure how we feel about this. It's kind of a stretch for someone to survive a volcano.
Publisher: We could pay you ridiculous amounts of money!
::mute::
D: Boats are expensive. You?
L: Promised the wife a trip to Tuscany for our anniversary. A good one.
::unmutes::
D: Diogenes will return!!
As for the rest? I honestly wonder if they were just messing with us. No other explanation I can think of. Complete disappointment.