A review by lovelykd
Looker by Laura Sims

3.0

This isn't a thriller. I don't know why it's being marketed as such but the only thrilling thing about this short--emotionally intense--novel is its description; this may as well be billed as case study in how debilitating grief and loss can be when connected to society's need to validate women via their ability to bear children.

We meet the unnamed narrator at the end of her motherhood quest. She's childless, her husband has left her, and her job is looking less like a sure thing by the day.

In order to pass the time, she's begun to unhealthily obsess over her famous neighbor--referred to only as "the actress"--as well as spend copious amounts of time imagining different versions of herself/her life as it might have been if she were a more interesting person.

For her, the actress not only represents everything she'll never be, but wishes she was, but also her lone connection to the world she feels has rejected her because of her inability to bear children.

What we witness from there is how painful it is for the narrator to exist in a world where every woman seemingly has a purpose except her; since she's no longer sure what her role is--motherhood is out of the picture, her husband no longer wants her, and others seems only to pity or dismiss her presence altogether--she starts taking her cues from whatever roles the actress has played; she watches the actresses's movies and mimics those roles in real life.

Fake it 'til you make it, right?

Only, she seems to understand that even the "faking" of her behavior is a farce. However, that's the only thing keeping her from losing her mind altogether. It gives her a measure of peace and a form of escape from reality: which is absolutely her being a woman suffering from a case of severe depression, coupled with an unyielding grief, and a strong desire to be validated.

Her somewhat slow descent into what can only be described as absolute MADNESS is cringe-worthy and, not unpredictably, leads to tragic consequences.

I had a tough time with this book because I expected something thrilling and came out the other side confused about whatever it was I just read. HOWEVER, if you leave the expectation this will be similar to "The Woman in the Window" or "Girl on a Train", you'll likely appreciate the story more because it isn't a bad story; it simply isn't a thriller.

I received an Advanced Galley of "Looker: A Novel" from Edelweiss+ in exchange for this review.