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A review by benjamin_manning
A General Theory of Love by Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini, Richard Lannon
2.0
A very good friend (and also, coincidently one of my smartest friends - credit Alice Feng) told me that this book is a must read. While I mostly disagree with her and did not enjoy this book, I do see a lot of the value that the information in the book provides. This book makes an attempt at describing the scientific and neural processes between human (but mostly mammalian) love and emotions. There were two major problems. First, the style of writing was kind of sickening in my opinion - there were endless fluffy platitudes and had to reread many paragraphs because I simply could not decipher what was being said (maybe I'm dumb though, always a possibility). 2. The book focuses almost entirely on the tripartite model of the brain - specifically how the limbic system, which we share with most other mammals, is the emotional center. Unfortunately, one of the big overhauls in neuroscience is that this model no longer holds up and has more or less been debunked (see the wonderful recent book - 7.s5 lessons about the brain). This is an understandable mistake given that this book was written in 2000, but undermined it's explanations a lot nonetheless.
I'll admit, I do think that this material is interesting and if the book were updated with the times (along with a new style with less fluff - it'd be awesome). Also, I did learn a lot such as:
1. Humans are literally hard-wired to hate loneliness - I found this quote especially impactful and have saved it away in my feelingsy quotes list - also shows the fluffy style lol: "a relationship that strays from one's prototype is limbically equivalent to isolation. Loneliness outweighs most pain. These two facts collide to produce one of loves' common and initially baffling quirks: most people choose misery with a partner their limbic brain recognizes over the stagnant pleasure of a "nice" relationship with someone their attachment mechanisms cannot detect" Sad, am i right???
2. Hebbian learning is a fascinating theory and representation of how the mind learns - offering a symbolic representation of how humans learn and recognize "things"
3. Alice mentioned how cool implicit memory is, and I agree! The difference between knowing how to do things and remembering instances is not something I've often thought about!
I'll admit, I do think that this material is interesting and if the book were updated with the times (along with a new style with less fluff - it'd be awesome). Also, I did learn a lot such as:
1. Humans are literally hard-wired to hate loneliness - I found this quote especially impactful and have saved it away in my feelingsy quotes list - also shows the fluffy style lol: "a relationship that strays from one's prototype is limbically equivalent to isolation. Loneliness outweighs most pain. These two facts collide to produce one of loves' common and initially baffling quirks: most people choose misery with a partner their limbic brain recognizes over the stagnant pleasure of a "nice" relationship with someone their attachment mechanisms cannot detect" Sad, am i right???
2. Hebbian learning is a fascinating theory and representation of how the mind learns - offering a symbolic representation of how humans learn and recognize "things"
3. Alice mentioned how cool implicit memory is, and I agree! The difference between knowing how to do things and remembering instances is not something I've often thought about!