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A review by nikenacs
I Hope We Choose Love: A Trans Girl's Notes from the End of the World by Kai Cheng Thom
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
One of the quickest 5-star ratings I've given this year. This came at exactly the right time for me, and I'm so glad I picked it up from my local library on a whim.
Kai Cheng Thom covers three overarching themes in this book: Queer leftist in-community conflict, especially in regards to punishment culture and public shaming, and transformative justice. Sexual violence, especially within queer leftist circles. And trans woman / trans feminine experiences, both her own and in larger culture. (Very broadly speaking, with overlap as well as some other topics covered).
For me personally, the first two topics /got/ me, I think I read this at exactly the right time in my life. Although not always easy, the essays felt like a hug that said "I know. I've been where you've been. We can try to make it, together". As someone who cares deeply about queer leftist circles, but is frequently frustrated and dissatisfied with The State Of It All™, especially in regards to public shaming and black-and-white-thinking, Thom touches on so many of my questions and anxieties. I had not yet done much reading into transformative justice, and I sure as hell will now. I don't think it'll hold all the answers - this book didn't hold all the answers either - but it's going to give me fantastic food for thought.
The third topic touched me less personally, but made me reflect on the trans women / femmes in my life, as well as those I never got to meet, may never get to meet. In some parts - politics, celebrities, pop culture - it really showed that this book was written in 2019, largely drawing on experiences of the 2010s. I would be so curious to see an update to this for the 2020s, regarding an even more supposedly trans-inclusive pop culture, and violent anti-trans laws on the rise in large parts of North America (and elsewhere).
TLDR: This book gave me amazing food for thought and I will be buying, re-reading and recommending it.
Kai Cheng Thom covers three overarching themes in this book: Queer leftist in-community conflict, especially in regards to punishment culture and public shaming, and transformative justice. Sexual violence, especially within queer leftist circles. And trans woman / trans feminine experiences, both her own and in larger culture. (Very broadly speaking, with overlap as well as some other topics covered).
For me personally, the first two topics /got/ me, I think I read this at exactly the right time in my life. Although not always easy, the essays felt like a hug that said "I know. I've been where you've been. We can try to make it, together". As someone who cares deeply about queer leftist circles, but is frequently frustrated and dissatisfied with The State Of It All™, especially in regards to public shaming and black-and-white-thinking, Thom touches on so many of my questions and anxieties. I had not yet done much reading into transformative justice, and I sure as hell will now. I don't think it'll hold all the answers - this book didn't hold all the answers either - but it's going to give me fantastic food for thought.
The third topic touched me less personally, but made me reflect on the trans women / femmes in my life, as well as those I never got to meet, may never get to meet. In some parts - politics, celebrities, pop culture - it really showed that this book was written in 2019, largely drawing on experiences of the 2010s. I would be so curious to see an update to this for the 2020s, regarding an even more supposedly trans-inclusive pop culture, and violent anti-trans laws on the rise in large parts of North America (and elsewhere).
TLDR: This book gave me amazing food for thought and I will be buying, re-reading and recommending it.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Transphobia, Violence, Suicide attempt, and Sexual harassment