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A review by smiles
Miss Memory Lane: A Memoir by Colton Haynes
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
medium-paced
5.0
I need to collect my thoughts and dry my tears before I can write a proper review for this.
August 6th: It's been about a month and a half since I finished Miss Memory Lane and I think I owe it to the people to give my thoughts. First of all I would like to thank Colton for sharing his story with the world (and also for liking the review that wasn't there yet ;))
When it comes to memoirs from people I usually have a hard time 'properly' reviewing, because as a reader there are so many different things I can judge a fictional book on, that wouldn't fly with a memoir like this. I can't say anything about the story, because it's Colton's life. I can't really judge the way it was written, because despite writing this book to share his story, Colton isn't a traditional writer either. No, I like looking at autobiographies and judge them on the feelings that the book gave me.
Miss Memory Lane is probably one of the most memorable autobiographies I've listened to (yes I strictly listen to these on audiobook) so far together with I'm Glad My Mom Died from Jennette McCurdy. Not only did the book and the content itself move me, the way Colton told his own story in this audiobook really hit home.
Now to get more into the actual content of the book. This is not a light read, Colton dives into his childhood and the various ways in which he was abused pretty much immediately. It sets the tone for how the book, and his life continue for quite a long time. I remember within the first few chapters already hating almost all the people that were around Colton growing up. His mother, for not giving him the guidance he needed, his father for neglecting his kids, his uncle for the unspeakable things he did to him when he was a 6 year old.. the list goes on.
What really hit in the first half of the book: "I was 14, he was 42". I could not continue the audiobook for a bit after hearing that, the pain that was so clear in his voice and the idea of a 14 year old being left on the ground of a laundry room after losing his virginity to a 42 year old taking advantage of him left me with complete shivers and tears in my eyes.
The entirety of the story, I kept wondering when there would be a positive turn in his life. When the numerous hardships would bring us to the learning curve that would leave the book on a positive note, but for a very long time I didn't believe the book would end well. The fact that it sort of did gave me some hope, also because I knew from friends that have met Colton that he is in a better place now, than he was in the past.
Miss Memory Lane is a truly moving story of a man born and raised in unfortunate situations, using his looks, sexuality and the pretense of being straight to try and make things happen in his relationships and work life. All of this while secrets and trauma were beating on the door every day. Hearing Colton truly go in depth about his addiction, how he almost died and the difficult road he took to bring himself back was told in a way that truly makes you feel the pain of everything he went through.
The monologue in one of the final chapters is probably my favorite part of the book. 'I was drunk when...' was moving and it's the part of the book that truly made me break out in tears and had me sitting on my bed staring into oblivion while listening. It's what truly pulled his entire story together and what also made this book 5 stars for me.
In the end of this I am glad that Colton seems to be in a better place. I know he still struggles and that life certainly isn't perfect with the homophobia he still deals with in the filming industry. I am happy for the fact that he decided to get sober and I truly hope he can continue his journey of healing, because Colton.. You deserve so much more than what life has given you.
August 6th: It's been about a month and a half since I finished Miss Memory Lane and I think I owe it to the people to give my thoughts. First of all I would like to thank Colton for sharing his story with the world (and also for liking the review that wasn't there yet ;))
When it comes to memoirs from people I usually have a hard time 'properly' reviewing, because as a reader there are so many different things I can judge a fictional book on, that wouldn't fly with a memoir like this. I can't say anything about the story, because it's Colton's life. I can't really judge the way it was written, because despite writing this book to share his story, Colton isn't a traditional writer either. No, I like looking at autobiographies and judge them on the feelings that the book gave me.
Miss Memory Lane is probably one of the most memorable autobiographies I've listened to (yes I strictly listen to these on audiobook) so far together with I'm Glad My Mom Died from Jennette McCurdy. Not only did the book and the content itself move me, the way Colton told his own story in this audiobook really hit home.
Now to get more into the actual content of the book. This is not a light read, Colton dives into his childhood and the various ways in which he was abused pretty much immediately. It sets the tone for how the book, and his life continue for quite a long time. I remember within the first few chapters already hating almost all the people that were around Colton growing up. His mother, for not giving him the guidance he needed, his father for neglecting his kids, his uncle for the unspeakable things he did to him when he was a 6 year old.. the list goes on.
What really hit in the first half of the book: "I was 14, he was 42". I could not continue the audiobook for a bit after hearing that, the pain that was so clear in his voice and the idea of a 14 year old being left on the ground of a laundry room after losing his virginity to a 42 year old taking advantage of him left me with complete shivers and tears in my eyes.
The entirety of the story, I kept wondering when there would be a positive turn in his life. When the numerous hardships would bring us to the learning curve that would leave the book on a positive note, but for a very long time I didn't believe the book would end well. The fact that it sort of did gave me some hope, also because I knew from friends that have met Colton that he is in a better place now, than he was in the past.
Miss Memory Lane is a truly moving story of a man born and raised in unfortunate situations, using his looks, sexuality and the pretense of being straight to try and make things happen in his relationships and work life. All of this while secrets and trauma were beating on the door every day. Hearing Colton truly go in depth about his addiction, how he almost died and the difficult road he took to bring himself back was told in a way that truly makes you feel the pain of everything he went through.
The monologue in one of the final chapters is probably my favorite part of the book. 'I was drunk when...' was moving and it's the part of the book that truly made me break out in tears and had me sitting on my bed staring into oblivion while listening. It's what truly pulled his entire story together and what also made this book 5 stars for me.
In the end of this I am glad that Colton seems to be in a better place. I know he still struggles and that life certainly isn't perfect with the homophobia he still deals with in the filming industry. I am happy for the fact that he decided to get sober and I truly hope he can continue his journey of healing, because Colton.. You deserve so much more than what life has given you.