A review by hazelalaska
Perfection by Merphy Napier

3.0

2.5

I was sort of hesitant to read this because I watch Merphy on YouTube, although I have only watched her videos for a few months. I was wary of reading it because I wasn’t sure if I was going to like it, and then I might feel the need to say that it was great in my review even if I didn’t like it because it’s her first novel and in a way I kind of know her through YouTube. I want her to succeed and do well and write great books, but the problem is I didn’t think that this book was that great. I had a lot of problems with it, and it definitely felt like a debut novel. I am not going to sugarcoat this review because of who she is, I am going to review this like I would any other book. It is not my intention to be mean, but to give constructive criticism.

The action started out far too soon in the story, and there was not really enough time to see how Perfection really works. We don’t know how big it is or how things really work there other than the Perfects and the Non-perfects thing, which is confusing in the beginning because it is not explained. The world-building was definitely lacking and could have been better. The book just seemed to drag on and on, as I was reading I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t gotten to 50% with all the time I had been reading. Maybe it was because I was stopping to write so many notes because I got really frustrated sometimes, but it just seemed way too long for what it was. I considered dnfing it because it was just so long and I didn’t want to continue because of Ashton’s stupidity (more on that in a minute), but I pushed through because I felt like I had to give it a chance since I do like her videos and it’s her first novel.

The story started out okay, but it sort of went downhill because of the main character. I grew to really despise Ashton because she made so many stupid, rash, and selfish decisions especially throughout the middle portion of the book. Sometimes she admitted that she knew what she was doing was stupid, and that sometimes she was selfish, but she still continued to do stupid things and never learned from her mistakes, even when she put many other people’s lives in danger and jeopardized their mission or ruined the plans that they had. Later on she felt guilty for what she had done, but no one berated her for doing these stupid things, even if there were dire consequences and a lot of damage afterwards. They all just said that she was doing a great job and that it wasn’t her fault, even though she was totally ruining everything, and she did things they specifically told her not to do. They told her to wait, and she doesn’t. They called her a leader even though she was a terrible one, and if they want to succeed they can’t have Ashton running around doing as she pleases just because she all of a sudden changes things. She acted really stupid and selfish throughout the book, and honestly she is up there with characters like Holden Caulfield and Bella Swan as one of the characters I hate the most. Not only did she act stupid, but she really had no strength or backbone to her either, and she was horrible at lying. She would lie but people would already know the truth or see right through her and say “are you sure you aren’t really doing...” whatever it is basically and she won’t even try to deny it or make up an excuse, she would just give in, and that’s not a good thing when you are trying to be sneaky and hide this secret so people don’t get put in danger or killed. I just think that Ashton is not really portrayed realistically because she herself does not really change her behavior throughout the book. She doesn’t learn from her mistakes and think of the lives she is putting at risk.

She is also a sort of cliche character, and made me really think of Bella Swan, because she is clumsy and thinks that she’s not attractive, and I am not a fan of this because it is used way too much to try to give the character flaws but it only serves to make them even more unrealistic. I think her being clumsy is the more unrealistic if the two because the number of times she trips and falls is ridiculous, no one would actually fall that many times in a row.

It seemed to me that I saw evidence of the influence of the Remnant Chronicles (aka The Kiss of Deception) in this book, especially with the similar names ( Kaleb and Kaden). I know that she really liked that series, as well as The Selection, which I could see elements of as well. There were times when I was reminded of other dystopian books that I read a while back and it made me want to reread them and continue on with some of the series.

There were spelling and grammatical errors that did not make the story any better either. Several times Candice is spelled Candace and Cecilia is misspelled once as well, although these were really minor issues. I did really love how she spelled Candice differently though, and I really loved her character, I thought that she was well done, but Ashton wasn’t.


Spoilers!

I feel like the original mission of the Keuse didn’t make much sense. They wanted to warn the normals and get them out of Perfection, but really they are always on the losing side because there will always be more normals inside to replace those they warn, and their children are still being taken, so they are fighting a losing battle. It would have made more sense if they wanted to destroy Perfection like they plan to at the end of the book.

I also felt like certain people and things were introduced into the story and then just sort of faded out of the story after a while. This was true of Tammie when she was being warned and Kaleb was talking to Ashton, because after that Tammie drops out of the story until we discover that she did join the Keuse. I think the author meant it to be surprising, but it just irritated me and at a few points in between I was wondering where she went. This also happened with Tosha and Wrede toward the end, as well as her family life. There were a few sentences in the middle of the book saying that Ashton was spending a lot of time with her family to help avoid suspicion but it doesn’t tell us what she did. It seemed like she had no life outside of the Keuse and her mission. And what did she do in school all this time? All of a sudden it’s basically graduation and she has to pick a job or she gets in trouble, but nothing was ever explained about her schooling. Her older brother and his wife are introduced briefly in the beginning and fall out of the book completely and are never mentioned again, so I feel like it was kind of pointless introducing them if they played no role in the story.

I actually really liked the character of Harmony. I feel like this was a nod to Hermione, especially since she was described as looking like Hermione and acting like her (when in doubt, go to the library). I’m not sure if she is a Harry and Hermione shipper, since I believe Harmony is the ship name for that pairing. I actually wish her character was included more in the story.

I also think Ashton’s dad was not characterized well because in the beginning he was really loving but when he found out about her involvement with the Keuse he changed completely from loving father to cold blooded sadistic killer, where it seemed like her really wanted to kill her and would enjoy doing it. I liked this, but it was such an abrupt change, and it really only reinforced what the Keuse were saying, that the Tiran are the bad guys. If he had really wanted to make her stop, he should have been firm with her but been nice, because then how could she believe they are bad? And even though she is rebelling against everything the Tiran stand for, everything he stands for, she is still his daughter. Even if she is not his biological daughter, he still raised her and cared about her. I don’t believe that he could have put on an act like that all the time for so many years, so he probably wouldn’t have been that eager to kill her. True, he was holding back and waiting for proof of her betrayal, which we were told is not something they normally do, and he didn’t tell the other Tiran about her, but even so I feel like he would still not be that cold to her all of a sudden and really want to kill her, especially after he just found out about the situation. If she continued to disobey him after he tried to help her back on the “right” path, then I could see where maybe he could turn out that way, but I don’t think he would feel that way toward his daughter so quickly. I was also shocked that he didn’t bring up her name at all during his speech. Maybe that was also to protect her, although if he wants to kill her that badly then I wouldn’t think so. He could have brought her up, saying that the “evil” Keuse had even seduced his daughter and made her betray Perfection and use it as proof that the Keuse are dangerous, if they were able to make the daughter of a Tiran betray her family and her country. Unless they already explained her absence to those that know her by claiming that she died. Hopefully in the next book we will get more of a glimpse of what really goes on in Perfection.

I am still conflicted as to whether I want to read the next book when it is published, since I wasn’t a big fan of this one. I feel like I should still give her a chance and maybe there will be improvement, but at the same time I feel like I won’t be able to force myself through another 450 pages of Ashton’s stupidity and that I will be wasting my time and end up dnfing it. I am also hesitant because I would be buying it since my library wouldn’t have it and I don’t want to waste the money on something I won’t like, but I still want to know how it ends. I probably will try it and try to push through, but if it is basically the same as this I might end up dnfing it.