A review by mountainzombie
An Unquenchable Thirst by Mary Johnson
5.0
“Sometimes I feel that I’m being healed, freed, and at other times
I feel like I’m in a trap or a cage and I can’t get out.”
“What is that cage made of?” His eyes were concerned, inviting.
“Sometimes the cage is my vows, because I want so much to be
with her and I feel God so present when I’m with her, but my vows
say I shouldn’t. At other times my desires for her are my cage,
because I want to be faithful to my vows but don’t seem able.
Sometimes she seems like the cage, because she doesn’t listen to me. Sometimes my confusion is the cage, because I have all these different desires at war in me and I can’t figure out what God
wants.”
I haven't been able to do anything the last few days but read this. I have always been fascinated with nuns and their approach to spirituality. I don't find many things beautiful or admirable about the church but this memoir not only made me question that limitation on the value I put on different expressions of faith but also made me question how I existed with my own beliefs.
I've always heard very conflicting views on Mother Teresa as a person and now I'm left with the complicated reality that Mary herself wrestles with throughout the book. We are not saints, not even if we are appointed so doing our mortal lives and people can both be good and terrible in equal regard. I started reading this book because of the podcast The Turning: The Sisters Who Left which delved into the lives of several nuns who left the Missionaries of Charity. I wanted to hear more from Mary in particular whose narrative and voice was so strong and left me wanting to understand her and her world more. I have never left a church pew thinking more about my faith or God but sometimes I would have to set this book down and reflect on what it really meant to live a religious life. I don't plan on converting (and I think Mary would be rather distraught if her book was the reason anyone left to join a religious order or signed themselves away to God) but it did soften my heart on so much and maybe was the first step to letting go of a lifetime of hurt and hatred toward an organization that until recently, I truly believed gave nothing of value to the world. It made me realize even if our beliefs differ, the dedication to a life of service is something beautiful and that even if we pray to different Gods there is nothing gained from doubting the reality or conviction of another's belief or lived experience. I can see myself re-reading this and recommending this book to as many people as I can. What an astounding life to have lived. 5 stars.
“That day I called out to God, loudly. I yelled, “So are you out there? And if you are, what are you like? Tell me. I’ve got to know.” I don’t tell Father Bob about the still, small voice I heard within. Look inside yourself, the voice said. God is like the best parts of you. From there it was a short step to God is the best parts of you.”
I feel like I’m in a trap or a cage and I can’t get out.”
“What is that cage made of?” His eyes were concerned, inviting.
“Sometimes the cage is my vows, because I want so much to be
with her and I feel God so present when I’m with her, but my vows
say I shouldn’t. At other times my desires for her are my cage,
because I want to be faithful to my vows but don’t seem able.
Sometimes she seems like the cage, because she doesn’t listen to me. Sometimes my confusion is the cage, because I have all these different desires at war in me and I can’t figure out what God
wants.”
I haven't been able to do anything the last few days but read this. I have always been fascinated with nuns and their approach to spirituality. I don't find many things beautiful or admirable about the church but this memoir not only made me question that limitation on the value I put on different expressions of faith but also made me question how I existed with my own beliefs.
I've always heard very conflicting views on Mother Teresa as a person and now I'm left with the complicated reality that Mary herself wrestles with throughout the book. We are not saints, not even if we are appointed so doing our mortal lives and people can both be good and terrible in equal regard. I started reading this book because of the podcast The Turning: The Sisters Who Left which delved into the lives of several nuns who left the Missionaries of Charity. I wanted to hear more from Mary in particular whose narrative and voice was so strong and left me wanting to understand her and her world more. I have never left a church pew thinking more about my faith or God but sometimes I would have to set this book down and reflect on what it really meant to live a religious life. I don't plan on converting (and I think Mary would be rather distraught if her book was the reason anyone left to join a religious order or signed themselves away to God) but it did soften my heart on so much and maybe was the first step to letting go of a lifetime of hurt and hatred toward an organization that until recently, I truly believed gave nothing of value to the world. It made me realize even if our beliefs differ, the dedication to a life of service is something beautiful and that even if we pray to different Gods there is nothing gained from doubting the reality or conviction of another's belief or lived experience. I can see myself re-reading this and recommending this book to as many people as I can. What an astounding life to have lived. 5 stars.
“That day I called out to God, loudly. I yelled, “So are you out there? And if you are, what are you like? Tell me. I’ve got to know.” I don’t tell Father Bob about the still, small voice I heard within. Look inside yourself, the voice said. God is like the best parts of you. From there it was a short step to God is the best parts of you.”