A review by wellreadsinger
A Woman Is No Man by Etaf Rum
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Consider the ways trauma is generational and some traditions potentially dangerous. We seem to pass pain down to our loved one like we pass salt at the table. Normalizing our suffering so much to a point we don’t even realize that’s what we’ve done. Suffering should not be a commonality; human beings should be able to live without having to constantly endure life.
It felt like I was sat at the sufra with Deya to my left, Sarah to my right, Isra directly across from me, and Fareeda off to the side willfully trying to resist the conversation happening. I’m surrounded by women who have had their voice silenced, who are finding their voice, and who have had to sacrifice for the sake of tradition. The heat of the chai tea Isra brewed does not compare to the one pulsing through my body as she tells her story. A story filled with depression, silent suffering, and shame. I can’t appreciate the taste of za’atar because my stomach is in knots when Fareeda decides to join the conversation to detail her heartbreaking life. The Mackintosh chocolates taste bittersweet as Sarah tells me how her freedom came with consequences. Deya offers me some freekeh soup but my stomach is full and my heart shatters at the threat of tears in her eyes.
I’m challenged to hold space for the boy Adam never got a chance to be while simultaneously being horrified at the man he became. I grieve the girl that was beaten out of Fareeda while holding the woman accountable for the choices she made. How can people know better when they’ve only experienced the worst?
Despite a missed opportunity to utilize the melting pot that is Brooklyn to her advantage, I devoured Etaf Rum’s semi- autobiographical novel with a ravenous hunger like it was shakshuka. Vague character descriptions aside from those that resided in the tight-knit Arab community were apparent, but I realize this slight obscurity emphasizes how these characters were sheltered for cultural preservation. With seamless dialogue and authentic characters, A Women is No man urges the reader to use your voice despite the consequences. A woman is no man, but that does not mean she has to prove her worth to you. A woman is no man, but her naseeb is in her control.
It felt like I was sat at the sufra with Deya to my left, Sarah to my right, Isra directly across from me, and Fareeda off to the side willfully trying to resist the conversation happening. I’m surrounded by women who have had their voice silenced, who are finding their voice, and who have had to sacrifice for the sake of tradition. The heat of the chai tea Isra brewed does not compare to the one pulsing through my body as she tells her story. A story filled with depression, silent suffering, and shame. I can’t appreciate the taste of za’atar because my stomach is in knots when Fareeda decides to join the conversation to detail her heartbreaking life. The Mackintosh chocolates taste bittersweet as Sarah tells me how her freedom came with consequences. Deya offers me some freekeh soup but my stomach is full and my heart shatters at the threat of tears in her eyes.
I’m challenged to hold space for the boy Adam never got a chance to be while simultaneously being horrified at the man he became. I grieve the girl that was beaten out of Fareeda while holding the woman accountable for the choices she made. How can people know better when they’ve only experienced the worst?
Despite a missed opportunity to utilize the melting pot that is Brooklyn to her advantage, I devoured Etaf Rum’s semi- autobiographical novel with a ravenous hunger like it was shakshuka. Vague character descriptions aside from those that resided in the tight-knit Arab community were apparent, but I realize this slight obscurity emphasizes how these characters were sheltered for cultural preservation. With seamless dialogue and authentic characters, A Women is No man urges the reader to use your voice despite the consequences. A woman is no man, but that does not mean she has to prove her worth to you. A woman is no man, but her naseeb is in her control.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death of parent, Domestic abuse, and Physical abuse