A review by crabbygirl
Would It Kill You to Stop Doing That: A Modern Guide to Manners by Henry Alford
3.0
[guessing at the star rating / mining my old FB notes now that they are almost impossible to find]
manners are more important than laws. or at least we are more affected by these small indignities (or acts of grace if it goes the other way) than what we are or aren't allowed - legally - to do. so with that in mind, here are some mannerly things either i plan to employ:
* never lower the communication tools used, as in: don't reply to a phone call with an email, or reply to an email with a FB post. however, it is ok to go up a step
* shushing someone is louder than their actual noise, so bring a penlight to shine on the offending yacker in the movie theatre to get a quick & quiet response
* don't ask someone where they are staying when they mention travel. they might be embarrassed to admit their 'value' choice so asking which neighborhood gives you helpful information without putting their bank account on the spot
* it's ok, and even recommended, to make a list of conversation topics in advance of a party where you know few people. also, being on the receiving end of questions is fine, but you should make an effort too and inquire things of your conversation partner
* at a dinner party, it's rude to talk about any food that is not the food in front of you
* japanese toilets are chockfull of buttons: one for bidet feature, one for warming the seat, one for air drying, and even one for a flushing sound to mask embarrassing noises (ok, i don't plan to employ that one but it was interesting to learn)
i enjoyed the heavy sprinkling of humor in this book, such as when the author decides to answer the miss manners column without actually sending the replies, or when he volunteers to be a manners mentor for his FB friends (6 took him up on the offer). he also come up with a great way to get an older woman to stop wearing (and displaying) her thong by implying the grossest person they knew was defending her choice and said how he loved how 'hip, raunchy,and always up for it' she looked :)
manners are more important than laws. or at least we are more affected by these small indignities (or acts of grace if it goes the other way) than what we are or aren't allowed - legally - to do. so with that in mind, here are some mannerly things either i plan to employ:
* never lower the communication tools used, as in: don't reply to a phone call with an email, or reply to an email with a FB post. however, it is ok to go up a step
* shushing someone is louder than their actual noise, so bring a penlight to shine on the offending yacker in the movie theatre to get a quick & quiet response
* don't ask someone where they are staying when they mention travel. they might be embarrassed to admit their 'value' choice so asking which neighborhood gives you helpful information without putting their bank account on the spot
* it's ok, and even recommended, to make a list of conversation topics in advance of a party where you know few people. also, being on the receiving end of questions is fine, but you should make an effort too and inquire things of your conversation partner
* at a dinner party, it's rude to talk about any food that is not the food in front of you
* japanese toilets are chockfull of buttons: one for bidet feature, one for warming the seat, one for air drying, and even one for a flushing sound to mask embarrassing noises (ok, i don't plan to employ that one but it was interesting to learn)
i enjoyed the heavy sprinkling of humor in this book, such as when the author decides to answer the miss manners column without actually sending the replies, or when he volunteers to be a manners mentor for his FB friends (6 took him up on the offer). he also come up with a great way to get an older woman to stop wearing (and displaying) her thong by implying the grossest person they knew was defending her choice and said how he loved how 'hip, raunchy,and always up for it' she looked :)