A review by nyquillll
Archer's Voice by Mia Sheridan

dark emotional mysterious reflective sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A

2.75

To be honest, this story felt like a bunch of cliches wrapped up in a storyline that was trying to put a unique spin on a love story. Like, I felt there was so much potential, but the way things played out and how the writing style was, it didn't blow me out of the water. I also was pretty annoyed at times with the FMC and her inner dialogue when interacting with Archer the MMC - just...I didn't want her to treat him like a charity project. I know the author was trying to say that wasn't the FMC's angle, but how she spoke of him sometimes or was written to have feelings for him didn't seem super believable. On the flip side, I did like Archer's character and I loved that there was representation of someone who is mute and how they move through the world. Though, I don't know much about the author's experience/expertise in this area, so at times, the way things were described or portrayed, I couldn't tell how accurate and respectful the portrayal was. I would be interested in hearing how someone who is mute felt after reading this book. 

I did like how the book touched on complex themes of (trigger warnings) domestic violence and trauma, the effects of domestic violence on a child, alcoholism, death of a parent/parent-figure, the importance of being able to communicate in more than one language (i.e., not everyone speaks English) - how knowing other languages helps you connect with more people, how people deemed "abnormal" or "different" are often ostracized and ignored, how hard it is to love people when the fear of losing them is so strong, how the world is built for a very specific type of person to be able to navigate it (i.e., able-bodied), how people in power abuse their authority and position to keep that power, and (theoretically) how two people who feel so broken can come together (and separate to learn more about themselves individually) to figure out how they can feel whole again.

I think the most poignant aspect of this book is its attempt to focus on how language is a very important component related to accessing the world around us and participating in social relationships. When we can't communicate ourselves to those around us, it limits our ability to create a sense of self and build community. From this story, we see this theme echoed, and also shows the importance of knowing more than one language. I especially liked that the end of the book didn't end with Archer miraculously regaining speech and deciding to speak again, but that Bree recognized the importance of speaking with people in the language of their hearts, and for Archer, that became sign language. 

**

Also I wish there was more cosmic justice for Travis' asshole, douche-bag, despicable behavior toward Archer AND that his mom got more comeuppance for her hand in orchestrating tragedy.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Bullying, Death, Domestic abuse, Grief, Stalking, Death of parent, and Murder

Moderate: Addiction and Alcoholism

Quotes I highlighted:

"'She comes home to this at night,' he said. 'What would she want with you?'"

"I CAN SPEAK. I JUST LIKE TO SHOW OFF MY NICE PENMANSHIP."

"'Makes me realize how little we all did for that boy.' She looked sorrowful and lost in thought."

"If it's okay with you, I'd like to speak your language."

"Okay. If your gate is open, I'll know it's okay to come in."

"He was. Mostly with math and anything science related. His mind would wander, but he taught me what I needed to know."

"Anyone can learn to do anything if they have the time. I have the time."

"It suddenly occurred to me that Archer Hale had taught himself an entire language, but hadn't had a single person to talk to. Until me."

"We had each reacted differently in a moment of terror, and yet we both still hurt."

"Maybe there was no right or wrong, no black or white, only a thousand shades of gray when it came to pain and what we each held ourselves responsible for."

"This was his way of making me feel more comfortable about exposing a part of myself to him - by doing the same for me."

"Peanut butter, jelly, applesauce? Are you six? I grinned at him. He didn't smile back, though, just looked at me for a few beats as if considering my question. In some ways, yes, Bree. In other ways, no."

"Bonus for friends of mine, though - I have twirly straws in that cabinet right there. We can blow bubbles in our chocolate milk."

"Maybe I needed to feel safe and accepted in my pain before I was set free from this daily misery."

"I want you to like it. Do whatever you want."

"I smiled to myself. I think I would have liked to meet Uncle Nate."

"I want to take care of you tonight. Is that okay?"

"He drank his water, watching me chatter away, obviously finding pleasure in my happiness. Sweet man."

"He was still my best friend, my sweet, silent boy"

you've literally only known him for a month at this point??

"One day, he put a bowl of potato chips out while I was preparing lunch, and as I snacked on them, I noticed that they were all the folded ones that I loved but usually had to hunt for."

"If there was ever a time to let someone know they were wanted, this was it."

"As I stood there holding on to him, it occurred to me that not all great acts of courage are obvious to those looking in from the outside."

"Not mad, Travis. Just not impressed with the way you treat your cousin."

"I never expected anyone to come in and open up the world for me, but that's what she had done. And now I had possibilities I didn't think I'd had before."

"Since I met him, it had occurred to me that it would probably be amazing what we could all see and hear if we would just shut our mouths a little more, and stop trying to constantly hear our own voice."

"Well, go reassure him that's not necessary. us men can act like real assholes when we're insecure and needy."

"Well. If you'd like my expert opinion, I'd say he's in love, and he doesn't know what to do with it."

"I'm sorry - sometimes I feel like everything is over my head. It makes me feel...weak and angry, and not worthy of you. Not worthy of anything."

"I want to be able to love you more than I fear losing you, and I don't know how."

"How do you teach a man who has lost everything not to fear it happening again?"

"There are so many ways to read you, Archer Hale. And I love every single one of them."

"That's a big burden for someone, Bree. To feel like if you leave a person, their whole life is going to crumble to dust. That's what I've been out here thinking about. What a burden I might end up being to you, the pressure you'll feel just loving me."

"Is it too soon to start missing you? Archer"

"Me: Thank you for being with me. It made all the difference. You made me brave. Archer: No, you were brave long before you met me. What's on your calm list?"

"Happiness filled my chest. I had a daddy who was happy I was his."

"My heart beat hollowly in my chest, breaking for the man I loved, so petrified of loss that his mind had checked out so he could deal with his agonizing fear."

"Loving you isn't a burden. Loving you is an honor and a joy, Archer."

"You picked up where I left off once, and now I get to do that for you. That's how it works, okay?"

"I guess if it wasn't beautiful, the tragedy ultimately wouldn't be so sad."

"I thought it had something to do with the fact that he liked to understand his own emotions before he shared them with me..."

"'I talked about you and he liked that best of all - I could see it in his expression.' Anne smiled gently."

"I figure, now that I know what I know about the life he's led, giving his love to you feels filled with risk."

"She hadn't just sought to take his voice, she had sought to take his confidence, his self-worth, his identity."

"And that son had the ability to take everything from her."

"...there's a masterpiece that's being woven out of all the knots and loose strings."

""But I think in order to do that I need to be the one to turn it around.

"'You make the best pumpkin pie I've ever had,' he said, and I started crying right there at the break table because I knew that was NOrm's way of telling me he loved me."

"It's suddenly become obvious to me that you're already taken. Nice meeting you, Bree Prescott."

"You're my safety, and I had to do this without feeling safe. I had to."

"I realized that people's reactions had more to do with them, more to do with who they were, than anything about me. It was like a bolt of lightning hit me, Bree."

"He talked a lot. I got the impression that no one had ever just listened to him. I smiled with the memory of my first real friend other than Bree. He invited me to his home..."

"She asked me the sign for love and I spelled out your name."

"I stand by my logic, though. I think love is a concept, and each person has an individual word for what sums it up for them. My word for love is 'Bree.'"

"Then I would have come for you. I would have fought for you. But don't you see, I had to fight for myself first. I had to feel like I was someone worthy of winning you."

"I was already brilliant. I just needed some world experience. I needed Thor."

"The pride in Archer's eyes as he ordered a glass of wine for me and a Coke for himself made me grin and wink at him."

"Watching him come into himself was a thing of beauty, and I felt privileged to be a witness to it."

"...how the loneliness he'd felt was no less than before, but that it was different this time. The difference, he'd concluded, was that he finally had himself, and he was more able than he'd known or believed."

"I stopped in the doorway, tilted my head, and smiled back at him. Something about the moment seemed very, very important. Something told me to stay right there and soak it in, cherish it."

"I'm going to keep making you happy, Archer Hale."

"I had learned recently that often, love was all about learning to speak a person's language."

"I heard again and again that Archer's and my story made people want to be better, to reach out to those no one else saw, to be friends to the friendless, to look at others more closely, recognize pain when they came across it, and then do something about it if they were able."

"...those beautiful hands that held a whole language, that allowed me to know what was in his mind and his heart. I loved those hands. I loved him."

"He'd looked at me for several minutes before he brought his hands away from mine and signed slowly, his fingers moving stiffly, I'm back for you."

"Norm, standing off to the side, signed, Knock 'em dead, and raised his chin at him, his expression serious. A look of surprised washed over ARcher's face, and then he nodded at Norm. I bit down on my lip, holding back a sob."

"We're all behind you, Archer. Tears were shimmering in her eyes, and the look on her face told me she wished she had done better."

"I'm here for you. I'm here because of you. I'm here because you saw me, not just with your eyes, but with your heart. I'm here because you wanted to know what I had to say and because you were right...everyone does need friends."

"And as he smiled around at the crowd, his eyes landed on mine again, and he raised his hands and signed, I Bree you, and I laughed and signed, I Archer you. God, I Archer you so much."

"I watched my wife swing lazily in our hammock, one foot dragging lightly on the grass as she moved back and forth under the summer sunshine."

"We had named them after our fathers, the men who had loved us so fiercely that, when faced with life-threatening danger, their only thought had been to save us. I understood that. After all, I was a father now, too."

"'I knew,' she said quietly. 'I knew.' And she had. She had told me my voice mattered, and her love had made me believe it might be true."

"And sometimes, that's all it takes - one person who's willing to listen to your heart, to the sound no one else has ever tried to hear."

"Their little heads sprang up and they started yelling, 'Daddy, Daddy!' while simultaneously signing the word.

"And her love slips quietly around me, holding me, anchoring me, reminding me that the loudest words are the ones we live."

"It had been a long time afterward - years - before I'd trusted blue skies again."

"Sometimes I felt as if the words I wasn't saying to Bree were so loud in my own head, she might be able to hear them from clear across the room, though I hadn't - couldn't - make a sound and hadn't lifted my hands."

"I lay my hands flat on my thighs - my version of utter silence - and closed my eyes as I waited for her to begin."

"She moved self-consciously as she gathered her things. I recognized it - I'd moved that way seemingly all my life. But I didn't know what to do about it when I was struggling so badly with my own insecurity."

"...staring up at the ceiling for a moment, continuing to grip my hair. It felt stranger in my hands. I felt strange in my skin."

"I'd taught myself sign and then I'd practiced by naming the items on my property as I worked or as I wandered."

"Here is where I felt sure and competent. Here is where I knew my strength and my skill, where I didn't dwell on all the ways in which I was lacking, and all the things I couldn't do."

"And that not trying at all was a different sort of drowning. And I didn't want to drown. I didn't. I wanted to live."