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A review by okgm
Woman, Eating by Claire Kohda
dark
emotional
mysterious
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
I finished this book around 3am the other night, and though I knew I had so, so many things to say, I also knew I had to give myself time to marinate in the large emotions that the story provoked. I read the reviews after reading and felt that I was a part of a very niche target audience, as I think many readers went into it with the same expectations: vampire baddie tries and fails to assimilate into humanity, a lot of fangs, a lot of "eating". Though that is not exactly what we got, I think that the story that it ended up being is something that I did not know I needed.
As context, I am biracial black queer person who grew up virtually fatherless and raised by a white almond mother. I also had a pretty viscous vampire era in my late teens, meaning: this book hit all of the marks for me.
The writing is mostly character thought and less plot, and yes: the main character is a vampire, but is that necessarily the point? And is that why the message was missed by a lot of presumably white readers? Claire, the woman she is, questions what it means to colonize a person versus the colonization of a body through the allegory of vampirism. The main character's mother, whose storyline is never shared fully as it is not information that Lydia is aware of, is a Malaysian woman who loses her life during the colonization of her home land and spends the rest of her existence as an "almost" god-fearing woman. Through her longing to be close to humanity she brings herself closer to white femininity, as if the only way to be a human as a woman (vampire) of color is to mirror the white woman in appearance and likability. Her daughter, Lydia, who is born a human and transformed soon after her birth is passed down this self-hatred. She longs to know of her human and half Japanese father whose death goes unexplained (potentially eaten by her mother, another nod towards eating the byproducts of those who once harmed your people/culture), not only to feel closer to her humanity, but also her heritage. They survive off a pig blood alone, as her mother feels that this is what they, as self-believing monsters, deserve to survive off of alone. When Lydia leaves the shackles of her mother's proximity, she feels both a sense of freedom and a self-grappling with all that she has ever been taught: that she is a monstrous thing that does not deserve love, friendship, or to feel fully satisfied in the things that she eats. As she begins to discover the joys of following her dreams, finding friendship, and experiencing attraction for the first time, she is consistently called back and haunted by the voice of self-hatred: a voice that belongs to her mother. Through her journey alone, she is in close proximity of entitled men who seem to claim her as their own--through hungry eyes, unwanted touch, and emotional manipulation. She spends this time in near starvation, hoping that if she resists any blood at all, she could starve this "demonic" presence from her body. In a way, longing to rebirthed as a normal girl who can eat the foods of her culture and know what it truly means to be Malaysian and Japanese. In the end, she finally eats a person who had taken advantage of her through money, power, and claim and is able to experience her culture through his memories of eating the foods of her ancestors. She is manic in these final moments, feeling connected to her mind and body. Knowing that the only way to feel like herself, feel closer to humanity, is to fucking eat.
What a beautiful take on vampires. I had never imagined this perspective, of food being a vital love language of your culture and never being able to experience that. To lack connection to your mother because that level of care is not able to be offered to you. To finally eat your colonizers and feel closer to your people in that reclamation of power. To eat the rich as someone who consistently feels powerless and trapped in the need to make yourself mall in attempts to save those around you from the voice inside you. Eat to feel good, eat to know yourself and others, eat to survive. Eat to be human, fully and lovingly.
As context, I am biracial black queer person who grew up virtually fatherless and raised by a white almond mother. I also had a pretty viscous vampire era in my late teens, meaning: this book hit all of the marks for me.
The writing is mostly character thought and less plot, and yes: the main character is a vampire, but is that necessarily the point? And is that why the message was missed by a lot of presumably white readers? Claire, the woman she is, questions what it means to colonize a person versus the colonization of a body through the allegory of vampirism. The main character's mother, whose storyline is never shared fully as it is not information that Lydia is aware of, is a Malaysian woman who loses her life during the colonization of her home land and spends the rest of her existence as an "almost" god-fearing woman. Through her longing to be close to humanity she brings herself closer to white femininity, as if the only way to be a human as a woman (vampire) of color is to mirror the white woman in appearance and likability. Her daughter, Lydia, who is born a human and transformed soon after her birth is passed down this self-hatred. She longs to know of her human and half Japanese father whose death goes unexplained (potentially eaten by her mother, another nod towards eating the byproducts of those who once harmed your people/culture), not only to feel closer to her humanity, but also her heritage. They survive off a pig blood alone, as her mother feels that this is what they, as self-believing monsters, deserve to survive off of alone. When Lydia leaves the shackles of her mother's proximity, she feels both a sense of freedom and a self-grappling with all that she has ever been taught: that she is a monstrous thing that does not deserve love, friendship, or to feel fully satisfied in the things that she eats. As she begins to discover the joys of following her dreams, finding friendship, and experiencing attraction for the first time, she is consistently called back and haunted by the voice of self-hatred: a voice that belongs to her mother. Through her journey alone, she is in close proximity of entitled men who seem to claim her as their own--through hungry eyes, unwanted touch, and emotional manipulation. She spends this time in near starvation, hoping that if she resists any blood at all, she could starve this "demonic" presence from her body. In a way, longing to rebirthed as a normal girl who can eat the foods of her culture and know what it truly means to be Malaysian and Japanese. In the end, she finally eats a person who had taken advantage of her through money, power, and claim and is able to experience her culture through his memories of eating the foods of her ancestors. She is manic in these final moments, feeling connected to her mind and body. Knowing that the only way to feel like herself, feel closer to humanity, is to fucking eat.
What a beautiful take on vampires. I had never imagined this perspective, of food being a vital love language of your culture and never being able to experience that. To lack connection to your mother because that level of care is not able to be offered to you. To finally eat your colonizers and feel closer to your people in that reclamation of power. To eat the rich as someone who consistently feels powerless and trapped in the need to make yourself mall in attempts to save those around you from the voice inside you. Eat to feel good, eat to know yourself and others, eat to survive. Eat to be human, fully and lovingly.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Death, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Blood, and Sexual harassment