A review by emleemay
Kördüğüm by Calia Read, İnci Nazlı

4.0

Oh, little crazy book, you were one HUGE unexpected surprise. I mean, surely the chances of enjoying two New Adult books in the space of just a couple of days is about 10 million to one? Two New Adult books that are insanely different, themes and worlds apart from one another, and yet both good? Impossible, one might think! But I was utterly mesmerised by this book that was part love story and part - and this is the bit that fascinated me - psychological thriller. Just before I get onto the good stuff, I feel like I should warn everyone straight away that there is a particularly graphic and disturbing rape scene that some of you may want to avoid. But if you can stomach the horrors, read onward.

At the beginning of this book, we immediately meet our protagonist, Naomi Carradine, who is in a mental institution. Naomi is adamant that she knows the truth: she is in love with Max - the man who haunts her every thought and whom she misses dearly. But no one else will believe her story. The doctors seem to think that Max isn't real, that he only exists inside Naomi's mind. Telling a story that alternates between her present life in the mental hospital and the past as she retells it to her psychiatrist, Naomi weaves a picture of her life. Who is Max? Is he real, as Naomi claims him to be? Will the doctors ever believe her story? And, even more importantly, will you?



I won't claim to be the most astute reader, but I don't think I'm bad at working things out, and this book kept me guessing right up until the end. I had several theories as to what was going on and I didn't come near to the truth until the ending was just around the corner. I love psychological stories that explore the dark aspects of the human mind and keep the reader wondering where the line between fiction and reality is drawn.

There's some sexy bits in this novel, as seems to be a requirement in New Adult, which was all well and good. I have to admit that any romancing and sexy times got side-swept for me by the far more interesting psychological side to the story. While the book is quite heavy on the romance/sex, at its heart it's really about something else entirely. Which is perhaps what makes it stand out. But both Max and Lachlan were sexy, sweet and completely free of douchebagitis so I liked the hot lovin' parts of the book well enough.

"I can dream. I can imagine and hope, but it will never change a thing. And the most terrifying thing is that I know, I know there’s more to the story. There’s another train coming straight at me, at full speed. Yet I can’t see it. I can only hear the ground slightly tremble. The tracks rattling beneath my feet. I can hear the sound of a whistle blaring. But I can’t move. All I can do is hope that when it does hit, I die in seconds."

My first feeling as I put this book (well, my kindle) down was that I wanted to start again from the beginning and see how everything looked from the perspective of someone who knows the truth. I love books that can do that. That surprise you. I only hope the rest of you find this as engrossing as I did.

“I’m not crazy,” I repeat. “I’m not crazy. I’m not crazy…” - do you believe her?

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