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A review by shansometimes
My Government Means to Kill Me by Rasheed Newson
challenging
informative
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
I've never read anything like this book before. MY GOVERNMENT MEANS TO KILL ME is a fiction book that reads like a powerful, unsparing memoir. It's about, as the official description perfectly describes, "the personal and political awakening of a young gay Black man in 1980s NYC."
The main character, 18-year-old Trey, is trying to find his way in the city after intentionally estranging from his wealthy parents. A few things he's faced with include housing woes (and even a rent strike), grief over his brother's death during his childhood, and, perhaps most notably, the US government's deliberate inaction during the AIDS crisis.
MY GOVERNMENT MEANS TO KILL ME is a hard-hitting story with plenty of conflict and intrigue. There was always something happening in this story, so it kept my attention even though it was a little all over the place. It covered a lot—maybe too much, considering how short the book is. It's dramatic, educational, sexy, funny, and challenging. It won't be a book for every reader for many reasons, including the descriptive language around sex and drugs that some might find unbearably crude. However, given the reality of a person like Trey's life, a type of person who has absolutely existed throughout history, the content is honest and accurate.
My biggest gripe with this book intersects with my favorite thing about it. It's heavy on historical references and even uses real people (historical figures) as characters in the story. I questioned the ethics of that and the speculation and stereotyping it opens those figures up to. Real people, such as Dorothy Cotton, Larry Kramer, James Baldwin, Bayard Rustin (who played a major part in the story and is depicted as a frequent bathhouse patron), and many others, are characters in this novel. We don't know how much of their characterization is accurate and I've seen some reviewers call out some of it for being a misrepresentation of the person's life and activism. If I had led a significant life and someone wrote me into their novel having fictional sex in scenarios I might've never been in or saying things I might not have co-signed, I'd be pissed from the grave.
On the other hand, I learned a lot from this book because of the historical references and frequent footnotes about them. I love my career as a writer, but reading about Trey's burgeoning activism was exciting and made me long for my college dream of being a civil rights lawyer. A lot happened very quickly in this book, and it was informative and interesting in a unique way. And the writing is excellent, even though I questioned some of the storytelling choices. If you can handle a raw look at this era of history from an angle like Trey's, MY GOVERNMENT MEANS TO KILL ME is definitely worth a read.
"The point is to let your bruised and bloodied bodies serve as evidence that the government means to kill you, if you so much as protest its bigoted policies."
"We are not so narrowly defined as society would have us believe. Yet the limits placed on our appetites, talents, and potential are implanted in us when we are children—too young to recognize the prisons built with words. We could blame it all on our families, but then we'd never find the keys to unlock our cells. The awful genius of our confinement is that we are both the prisoner and the warden. We tell ourselves daily that we aren't free to do this or do that because we are that or this. To escape such limited thinking, we don't have to look far. The keys are in our pocket."
"Robber barons, political overlords, and other powerful devils can reign with impunity for decades, and the terror they inflict on those of us beneath them can feel eternal. Yet there is one stone that will slay them all: time. Devils grow old, and the world around them eventually exceeds their understanding and control. Never forget that. Never let them forget it."
The main character, 18-year-old Trey, is trying to find his way in the city after intentionally estranging from his wealthy parents. A few things he's faced with include housing woes (and even a rent strike), grief over his brother's death during his childhood, and, perhaps most notably, the US government's deliberate inaction during the AIDS crisis.
MY GOVERNMENT MEANS TO KILL ME is a hard-hitting story with plenty of conflict and intrigue. There was always something happening in this story, so it kept my attention even though it was a little all over the place. It covered a lot—maybe too much, considering how short the book is. It's dramatic, educational, sexy, funny, and challenging. It won't be a book for every reader for many reasons, including the descriptive language around sex and drugs that some might find unbearably crude. However, given the reality of a person like Trey's life, a type of person who has absolutely existed throughout history, the content is honest and accurate.
My biggest gripe with this book intersects with my favorite thing about it. It's heavy on historical references and even uses real people (historical figures) as characters in the story. I questioned the ethics of that and the speculation and stereotyping it opens those figures up to. Real people, such as Dorothy Cotton, Larry Kramer, James Baldwin, Bayard Rustin (who played a major part in the story and is depicted as a frequent bathhouse patron), and many others, are characters in this novel. We don't know how much of their characterization is accurate and I've seen some reviewers call out some of it for being a misrepresentation of the person's life and activism. If I had led a significant life and someone wrote me into their novel having fictional sex in scenarios I might've never been in or saying things I might not have co-signed, I'd be pissed from the grave.
On the other hand, I learned a lot from this book because of the historical references and frequent footnotes about them. I love my career as a writer, but reading about Trey's burgeoning activism was exciting and made me long for my college dream of being a civil rights lawyer. A lot happened very quickly in this book, and it was informative and interesting in a unique way. And the writing is excellent, even though I questioned some of the storytelling choices. If you can handle a raw look at this era of history from an angle like Trey's, MY GOVERNMENT MEANS TO KILL ME is definitely worth a read.
"The point is to let your bruised and bloodied bodies serve as evidence that the government means to kill you, if you so much as protest its bigoted policies."
"We are not so narrowly defined as society would have us believe. Yet the limits placed on our appetites, talents, and potential are implanted in us when we are children—too young to recognize the prisons built with words. We could blame it all on our families, but then we'd never find the keys to unlock our cells. The awful genius of our confinement is that we are both the prisoner and the warden. We tell ourselves daily that we aren't free to do this or do that because we are that or this. To escape such limited thinking, we don't have to look far. The keys are in our pocket."
"Robber barons, political overlords, and other powerful devils can reign with impunity for decades, and the terror they inflict on those of us beneath them can feel eternal. Yet there is one stone that will slay them all: time. Devils grow old, and the world around them eventually exceeds their understanding and control. Never forget that. Never let them forget it."
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racial slurs, Racism, Sexual content, Violence, Police brutality, and Pandemic/Epidemic
Moderate: Child death, Death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Homophobia, Grief, Murder, Lesbophobia, and Injury/Injury detail