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A review by kaleria
The Other F-Word by Natasha Friend
3.0
I was thrilled to find a YA book featuring queer parents! Most books with queer parents are Children's Lit.
The first 70 pages were a battle for me - I really disliked the two main characters, particularly Hollis' anger at her deceased mother and her grieving mother. I would not have bothered finishing the book if I didn't have a vested interest in reading YA books with queer parents. It felt like the text was simply acting out all the hurtful things people have said about families like mine - that they're broken, missing something, that the biological mother is not a real mother... readers who don't have the same emotional relation to the subject may find the beginning isn't such a rough read. For those who do, I can say that the second 2 thirds of the book are far more enjoyable and Natasha Friend finally manages to bring out other parts of each of their families. By the end, I really cared about Hollis and Milo and their mothers.
I do worry that this book might be misleading if it's read without outside knowledge. Many queer-parented kids with anonymous sperm donors don't care who their biological father is. Often, straight-parented people assume we're 'missing something'. My family has always been whole just the way it is. I've never felt I was missing someone. People have different relationships with the idea of their sperm donor. It's not that some folk don't wonder or research, but the diversity of experiences weren't captured in this. That's not so much a fault in the book, as a concern about what an uninformed reader might walk away assuming.
The first 70 pages were a battle for me - I really disliked the two main characters, particularly Hollis' anger at her deceased mother and her grieving mother. I would not have bothered finishing the book if I didn't have a vested interest in reading YA books with queer parents. It felt like the text was simply acting out all the hurtful things people have said about families like mine - that they're broken, missing something, that the biological mother is not a real mother... readers who don't have the same emotional relation to the subject may find the beginning isn't such a rough read. For those who do, I can say that the second 2 thirds of the book are far more enjoyable and Natasha Friend finally manages to bring out other parts of each of their families. By the end, I really cared about Hollis and Milo and their mothers.
I do worry that this book might be misleading if it's read without outside knowledge. Many queer-parented kids with anonymous sperm donors don't care who their biological father is. Often, straight-parented people assume we're 'missing something'. My family has always been whole just the way it is. I've never felt I was missing someone. People have different relationships with the idea of their sperm donor. It's not that some folk don't wonder or research, but the diversity of experiences weren't captured in this. That's not so much a fault in the book, as a concern about what an uninformed reader might walk away assuming.