A review by yanners
Dear Evan Hansen: The Novel by Val Emmich
1.0
Dear Evan Hansen,
You’re a prick.
The prickiest prick that's probably got a pointy cactus prick up your arse where the sun doesn't shine.
You come waltzing in here with your therapy emails and imposter syndrome, kiss the sister of the boy who died pages ago and whose body is most likely still warm, do some crappy gameplay pretending you’re on one of those character selection screens except this is real life and forcing your character to do drugs means everyone thinks the actual dead guy diddled his junkie self away on drugs before he did himself in.
And that GoFundMe does NOT absolve you of your crimes, mister ‘I still ended up with his sister after all that’ and miss ‘Zoe you sure got over that quick’.
Therapy clearly isn’t helping so why don’t I prescribe a PSYCHIATRIC WARD where you can stew in and realise how absolutely LOOSE that screw in your head is.
THEN WE’LL TALK
Love always, XOXO, the same old, your fellow letter-to-self weirdo Charlie
1 star
You’re a prick.
The prickiest prick that's probably got a pointy cactus prick up your arse where the sun doesn't shine.
You come waltzing in here with your therapy emails and imposter syndrome, kiss the sister of the boy who died pages ago and whose body is most likely still warm, do some crappy gameplay pretending you’re on one of those character selection screens except this is real life and forcing your character to do drugs means everyone thinks the actual dead guy diddled his junkie self away on drugs before he did himself in.
And that GoFundMe does NOT absolve you of your crimes, mister ‘I still ended up with his sister after all that’ and miss ‘Zoe you sure got over that quick’.
Therapy clearly isn’t helping so why don’t I prescribe a PSYCHIATRIC WARD where you can stew in and realise how absolutely LOOSE that screw in your head is.
THEN WE’LL TALK
Love always, XOXO, the same old, your fellow letter-to-self weirdo Charlie
1 star