A review by kamrynkoble
You're the Only One I've Told: The Stories Behind Abortion by Meera Shah

emotional informative reflective slow-paced

4.0

Women’s reproductive rights and care has always been something extremely important to me. I came to this book with the lens of a woman raised in a highly conservative, Christian environment who is pro-choice despite never needing abortion care myself. Because of my background, I do not think this book would be very effective to “sway” any conservative Christians. 

It often seeks to identify abortion as something commonplace and completely devoid of shame. It included the stories of several women who had to have abortion for medical reasons, even though they wanted the pregnancy. In these situations, the grief and decision-making is difficult. But in the author, a physician’s, own narration, it comes across as “not that big of a deal.” There really isn’t any education on avoiding abortion in the first place as it’s apparent that the author sees no issue with women having as many abortions as they want, for whatever reason. I could see this almost irreverent tone as being off putting to those who are on the fence in any way, shape, or form. 

The other factor is high attention to gender. This book focuses on inclusive language (pregnant person instead of pregnant woman, people with uteruses, etc), provides pronouns for every person mentioned at the beginning of their chapters, and often offers caveats that include nonbinary people and trans men. While I know these caveats are important, it can detract from this seeming like a woman’s issue, and turns the conversation to broader topics of gender and sexuality. For that reason I would also be extremely hesitant to recommend this book to a conservative Christian. 

The author is obviously a physician, and I think this book could’ve benefitted from a ghost writer who could help organize the thoughts here in a more cohesive, easy-to-read way. It was often repetitive and ricocheted between people’s personal stories and then paragraphs of laws and court cases. 

What was strong? I learned SO much. I feel like I have a much more comprehensive look at reproductive healthcare in the US. The most recent developments have terrified me, and I hope the author expands upon them in a second edition at some point. 

I appreciated the wide breadth of the different stories offered here. It was obvious that all the interviewees had great rapport with the author. 

As a decidedly pro-choice person, I found this educational, fascinating, and clarifying. With a different author tone, I could see these stories being helpful for those who’ve never been in these people’s shoes, and struggle to imagine what it would be like. I’ll gladly recommend this to my pro-choice friends, but if you’re looking for something to sway others, I don’t think this is the pick. 
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