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A review by castairs
The Mating of Michael by Eli Easton
1.0
I felt for James, I really did. I think he's a likeable character, and while his story made me feel incredibly sad, I didn't find him pitiful. I have to give credit to the author for that.
Michael, on the other hand. Oh boy. I felt like the author spent so much time trying to convince me of how sweet, how compassionate and just what a good and pure person Michael was. And I think I know where they're coming from, but the way Michael talked about the surrogacy and sometimes James' disability made me extremely uncomfortable. It's portrayed as something very pure and altruistic, but it felt like a fetish at times.
For a while I was torn between wanting to know more about James and being uncomfortable by Michael, but then their relationship gets serious and everything went downhill for me. Michael is the one who fucks up, and it's something very serious. Like, serious enough that if someone did that to me I probably wouldn't be able to trust that person in an intimate way ever again, no matter how in love I was. And the problem is that the book doesn't treat this with the gravity it deserves.
I believe a person can have sex with other people while in a commited relationship and it won't be morally wrong, but only as long as their partner is 100% okay with it. It doesn't matter how "good" and "noble" Michael's work is, he's still having sex with strangers without telling James about it!!!!! It doesn't matter that Michael doesn't think it counts because it's part of his job, that's still CHEATING. James has huge abandonment and trust issues, and Michael knowingly keeps the truth from him. Being scared of losing James in understandable, but he's a grown man, so the fact that he doesn't man up and tell the truth for James' sake is selfish and cowardly.
Then one of his clients, who he also sees as a friend, tries to commit suicide and I get that it's a delicate and distressing situation, but to abandon James like that when he needed Michael so much, with just one single text for an explanation, is so immature and messed up. Honestly, I think he should have tried to go to the gala and then to the hospital, but I understand that could be asking for too much, so if he couldn't do it that'd be fine. But he seriously couldn't have gone to James' and explain the situation in person? That was such a shitty way to handle things and I cannot get over it.
What made me incandescent with rage is that James, once he has just discovered his boyfriend has been lying about his job and having sex with other people (and I'm not even getting into the ethical issue of putting his partner's health at risk without his consent, no matter how careful Michael is), has to put up with three fucking people he doesn't know from Adam coming to his house and lecturing him about the way he's broken poor Michael's heart. Even Michael's boss, who is a sex therapist and should have some damn empathy considering how traumatic this is for James, has the nerve to do this:
Halloran gave him a stern lecture on the value of sex therapy and surrogacy and told him in detail about the two clients Michael was treating currently and why"
"Whatever you want to make of that is up to you, but Michael is a good man and he deserves a second chance”
Are you fucking kidding me. No, he does not "deserve" a second chance. I know Michael didn't mean to hurt James, but James has every right to tell Michael to fuck off. Also, nobody seems to give a damn about James' feelings in all of this and it was so depressing and infuriating to read.
There's also this:
He’d meant to talk to James tonight about the surrogacy. That had been the plan—get James to let him touch his legs and maybe use that as a lead-in to discuss surrogacy afterward.
I know I'm not meant to see it that way, but this sounds so gross to me. James finally overcame his fear and let Michael touch his legs, something that's very traumatic for him, and while I don't doubt Michael genuinely wanted to make James feel good, the idea that he had a plan to use the experience to hopefully make James more accepting of his dirty secret is just unbelievable. Way to make it all about you, Michael. Not to mention what a moronic idea it is. If I had just had a deeply intimate experience with my partner and he compared that in any way to the work he does to make disabled people feel good because they can't find anyone who wants to touch them, it would emotionally destroy me.
I give one star because of James, and if I ignore the context surronding it, some intimate moments between James and Michael were touching, but the rest just made me genuinely furious. Maybe if Michael had to actually redeem himself I wouldn't take this so seriously. I have ignored some fucked up behavior in other stories because it's fiction, but I can't do it if everyone in the story acts like it's not that big of a deal.
Michael, on the other hand. Oh boy. I felt like the author spent so much time trying to convince me of how sweet, how compassionate and just what a good and pure person Michael was. And I think I know where they're coming from, but the way Michael talked about the surrogacy and sometimes James' disability made me extremely uncomfortable. It's portrayed as something very pure and altruistic, but it felt like a fetish at times.
For a while I was torn between wanting to know more about James and being uncomfortable by Michael, but then their relationship gets serious and everything went downhill for me. Michael is the one who fucks up, and it's something very serious. Like, serious enough that if someone did that to me I probably wouldn't be able to trust that person in an intimate way ever again, no matter how in love I was. And the problem is that the book doesn't treat this with the gravity it deserves.
I believe a person can have sex with other people while in a commited relationship and it won't be morally wrong, but only as long as their partner is 100% okay with it. It doesn't matter how "good" and "noble" Michael's work is, he's still having sex with strangers without telling James about it!!!!! It doesn't matter that Michael doesn't think it counts because it's part of his job, that's still CHEATING. James has huge abandonment and trust issues, and Michael knowingly keeps the truth from him. Being scared of losing James in understandable, but he's a grown man, so the fact that he doesn't man up and tell the truth for James' sake is selfish and cowardly.
What made me incandescent with rage is that James, once he has just discovered his boyfriend has been lying about his job and having sex with other people (and I'm not even getting into the ethical issue of putting his partner's health at risk without his consent, no matter how careful Michael is), has to put up with three fucking people he doesn't know from Adam coming to his house and lecturing him about the way he's broken poor Michael's heart. Even Michael's boss, who is a sex therapist and should have some damn empathy considering how traumatic this is for James, has the nerve to do this:
Halloran gave him a stern lecture on the value of sex therapy and surrogacy and told him in detail about the two clients Michael was treating currently and why"
"Whatever you want to make of that is up to you, but Michael is a good man and he deserves a second chance”
Are you fucking kidding me. No, he does not "deserve" a second chance. I know Michael didn't mean to hurt James, but James has every right to tell Michael to fuck off. Also, nobody seems to give a damn about James' feelings in all of this and it was so depressing and infuriating to read.
There's also this:
He’d meant to talk to James tonight about the surrogacy. That had been the plan—get James to let him touch his legs and maybe use that as a lead-in to discuss surrogacy afterward.
I know I'm not meant to see it that way, but this sounds so gross to me. James finally overcame his fear and let Michael touch his legs, something that's very traumatic for him, and while I don't doubt Michael genuinely wanted to make James feel good, the idea that he had a plan to use the experience to hopefully make James more accepting of his dirty secret is just unbelievable. Way to make it all about you, Michael. Not to mention what a moronic idea it is. If I had just had a deeply intimate experience with my partner and he compared that in any way to the work he does to make disabled people feel good because they can't find anyone who wants to touch them, it would emotionally destroy me.
I give one star because of James, and if I ignore the context surronding it, some intimate moments between James and Michael were touching, but the rest just made me genuinely furious. Maybe if Michael had to actually redeem himself I wouldn't take this so seriously. I have ignored some fucked up behavior in other stories because it's fiction, but I can't do it if everyone in the story acts like it's not that big of a deal.