Scan barcode
A review by ihateprozac
The Astonishing Colour of After by Emily X.R. Pan
5.0
CW: depression, suicide
This is quite possibly the most exquisite book I’ve ever read.
I delayed reading this for the better part of a year as I was apprehensive about the suicide themes. And don’t get me wrong, it’s 100% a dark story about depression and suicide that will rip your soul from your body. But I was taken aback at how surprisingly light, poetic, and accessible the writing was! Somehow Emily XR Pan took a story about the darkest parts of the human condition and managed to weave colour and light through them.
The way in which Emily XR Pan uses magical realism and Taiwanese funereal beliefs to weave a story about mental illness, grief, art, family, love, friendship, and healing is nothing short of genius. It’s mindblowing that this is a debut novel, because Emily XR Pan’s storytelling and writing is perfect in every. single. way!
I sobbed through the last 100 pages. And when I say sobbed, I mean loudly, ugly, and audibly. My face hurt from crying. This book ripped my heart out and spoke to parts of teenage me that I didn’t know were still hurting. I connected a molecular level with Leigh’s disconnection to her culture and family, the loneliness of being an only child, the struggling mother, and the absent father who won’t tell her the truth. Even the seemingly unrequited love for her best friend - which I don’t personally have a connection to - made me hurt!
This book just hits all the right beats, as painful as those beats are.
I wish I could articulate even half of what this book made it feel. It’s truly magical in every single way and I will be thinking about The Astonishing Colour of After for years to come.
Representation: mental illness, Taiwanese-American biracial protagonist, multiple Taiwanese characters, biracial Latinx/Filipino love interest, queer female minor characters
This is quite possibly the most exquisite book I’ve ever read.
I delayed reading this for the better part of a year as I was apprehensive about the suicide themes. And don’t get me wrong, it’s 100% a dark story about depression and suicide that will rip your soul from your body. But I was taken aback at how surprisingly light, poetic, and accessible the writing was! Somehow Emily XR Pan took a story about the darkest parts of the human condition and managed to weave colour and light through them.
The way in which Emily XR Pan uses magical realism and Taiwanese funereal beliefs to weave a story about mental illness, grief, art, family, love, friendship, and healing is nothing short of genius. It’s mindblowing that this is a debut novel, because Emily XR Pan’s storytelling and writing is perfect in every. single. way!
I sobbed through the last 100 pages. And when I say sobbed, I mean loudly, ugly, and audibly. My face hurt from crying. This book ripped my heart out and spoke to parts of teenage me that I didn’t know were still hurting. I connected a molecular level with Leigh’s disconnection to her culture and family, the loneliness of being an only child, the struggling mother, and the absent father who won’t tell her the truth. Even the seemingly unrequited love for her best friend - which I don’t personally have a connection to - made me hurt!
This book just hits all the right beats, as painful as those beats are.
I wish I could articulate even half of what this book made it feel. It’s truly magical in every single way and I will be thinking about The Astonishing Colour of After for years to come.
Representation: mental illness, Taiwanese-American biracial protagonist, multiple Taiwanese characters, biracial Latinx/Filipino love interest, queer female minor characters