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A review by shelbythebelby
How to Marry a Millionaire Vampire by Kerrelyn Sparks
1.0
DNF stopped at 38%.
I love the title and the synopsis, but it feels like after that the author went, "I need to actually write the thing now???" And just slapped the most minimal effort, juvenile shit they could manage in 1/2 hour and then ran away before someone could manage to actually read it and realize they had accidentally stepped on the keyboard instead of actually writing anything worth reading.
The characters are flat tropes made by someone with no love for romance, supernatural, or fun. The male character brings up god every other second and how boring and #angsty he is and for some reason he is not likable. Who knows why. The female character is a ridiculous, hysterical, unthinking mess of a creature who never manages to have a rational thought because her brain was removed to make room for the sass she has to deal out to the male character so we can be told she is infuriating and yet also charming. We are also told she is pure of heart, and just get out of here with that bullshit.
She also is described as being a size 12 with a b cup bra but also as "busty" and that is not what this body would look like. This was obviously ghost-written by someone who has never had to look at a bra before with any knowledge of how they actually work.
There are so many skeevy elements in here regarding women that its astonishing they managed to fit so much into less only 1/3 of the book. I can hardly imagine what wonders awaited me in the rest what with the off putting actions done with a sex doll and with some thoughts of rape by our male lead toward the female (how I did not fall for the romance I will never know).
This book is at best a disappointment and a waste of time with not a single redeeming feature within the pages. The only good thing is the title and synopsis, so if you just read the cover and back of the book you have got the streamlined, A+ experience and you do not need to worry about anything else.
I love the title and the synopsis, but it feels like after that the author went, "I need to actually write the thing now???" And just slapped the most minimal effort, juvenile shit they could manage in 1/2 hour and then ran away before someone could manage to actually read it and realize they had accidentally stepped on the keyboard instead of actually writing anything worth reading.
The characters are flat tropes made by someone with no love for romance, supernatural, or fun. The male character brings up god every other second and how boring and #angsty he is and for some reason he is not likable. Who knows why. The female character is a ridiculous, hysterical, unthinking mess of a creature who never manages to have a rational thought because her brain was removed to make room for the sass she has to deal out to the male character so we can be told she is infuriating and yet also charming. We are also told she is pure of heart, and just get out of here with that bullshit.
She also is described as being a size 12 with a b cup bra but also as "busty" and that is not what this body would look like. This was obviously ghost-written by someone who has never had to look at a bra before with any knowledge of how they actually work.
There are so many skeevy elements in here regarding women that its astonishing they managed to fit so much into less only 1/3 of the book. I can hardly imagine what wonders awaited me in the rest what with the off putting actions done with a sex doll and with some thoughts of rape by our male lead toward the female (how I did not fall for the romance I will never know).
This book is at best a disappointment and a waste of time with not a single redeeming feature within the pages. The only good thing is the title and synopsis, so if you just read the cover and back of the book you have got the streamlined, A+ experience and you do not need to worry about anything else.