A review by rachelmac476
Tell Me I'm an Artist, by Chelsea Martin

5.0

Why do strong emotions have more value in art than weak or complicated or mundane emotions?

I feel like this quote is the best possible summation of my feelings on this novel as a whole. Typically I try and reserve 5 stars for books that deeply moved me, often to tears. This book was not that - but I found myself pausing and thinking over sections, re-reading paragraphs to better understand and mull over what the author was saying, and I read it without thinking about what book I would pick up next (rare for me, these days...)

Tell Me I'm an Artist is an unpretentious story of a young woman, Joey, as she navigates art school. She knows she loves art passionately, but is uncertain of the best way to create it or interpret it. There are a couple quotes from the blurbs that stand out to me as particularly apt at describing this book:

...a portrait of the artist as a work in progress - Sharma Shields

...a vital love story not often told - that of an artist's passionate, tumultuous, and often absurd relationship with her art - Hallie Bateman

"Absurd" is a particularly good descriptor - Joey knows she loves art but she also knows that the value of the degree is questionable. She's funding her education through student loans - an extremely dubious financial decision (I'm speaking from experience); she does not come from money, quite the opposite. She has conflicting feelings over seeking an education at art school, given her family's financial situation. She both feels selfish and is told she's selfish by her mother and sister. Joey's family drama - in which her sister goes missing - is intertwined with Joey's journey at school. They're a reminder of her roots - of the world that she's trying to escape; an escape both from being poor and from a passionless, dreary life without art. This novel is a quiet but no less important personal journey for Joey - as she ends in a better place in her life, on a personal/ relationship level and on a financial level, though certainly not perfect.

This novel also had some of the most nuanced, impactful scenes exploring class and privilege that I have ever read. At one point, Joey goes dumpster diving with her friend Suz, who comes from a wealthy family. A man approaches and runs off when Joey and Suz notices him.

"What the hell," Suz said, laughing.

I laughed, too. We walked away from the dumpster, our backpacks full, a knot of guilt developing in my stomach. What I thought we were stealing from a major corporation with no moral compass we were in fact stealing from someone, a real person, with nothing at all.

Later, on the floor in my darkened apartment, surrounded by books, art supplies, thrifted furniture, nearly new, cheaply made textiles, and perfectly good almonds I had no intention of eating because the bag was dirty, I'd look up from the bright light of my phone and see my life in a way I hadn't before: as a gross display of wealth.

I bookmarked a lot of sections of this - both for this review and for myself, to go back to and think over in the days, weeks, months, and years to come.