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A review by bunsoburrito
To Sir Phillip, With Love by Julia Quinn
dark
emotional
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
I didn't expect the amount of nuance in these characters and their circumstances.
I quite enjoyed this until Phillip goes in on Eloise not to complain about the marriage because he had suffered a terrible one with Marina. That, he messed up. I can imagine how JQ was trying to frame this within a declaration of love but that bit was undeniably poorly written.
Reading the negative reviews, I can understand why people are upset with Phillip re: his attitude and reaction towards Marina's depression and suicide. However I interpreted it quite differently taking into account his experience growing up with a father he could never please. It definitely didn't help when he essentially had to relive this in adulthood out of a sense of duty. The only ways he could interpret Marina's depression was as a personal failure and an act of harshness/cruelty by the other party. This was set in the 1800s where the idea of mental health was not understood as it is now.
I'm also bewildered that lot of people were upset by his picking up the switch?? I don't condone corporal punishment but it was so clear to me that he did not have a good/healthy childhood, and knows only corporal punishment. Heck, I don't think this man even understands familial love/love from a father to his children- which explains why he distances himself from the children. His mother passed at his birth and his (damned and) cruel father was all he knew. JQ makes it clear Phillip tries to refrain from hitting them but ultimately does when he feels driven to it, desperately in fear that by not doing so, he would ruin his children more.
Does all of that excuse Phillip entirely from his actions? Not at all but like many of us, it makes him a complex human with trauma and flaws in a time where not many answers were provided.
Even Elouise- so many people are upset by why she suddenly has a change of heart with Phillip. I didn't feel the surprise other readers did. Elouise is exactly as how Violet described. Elouise is clear on what she desires and as such, she is impatient which is in part why she rejected the previous proposals. However, through the year long letters with Phillip, she has the time and space to grow to care for him. Even then, she goes to see him to <i>consider</i> whether they are suited for each other. When they marry, it is largely due to her brothers and obligation BUT she still retains her doubts.
Reading the negative reviews, I can understand why people are upset with Phillip re: his attitude and reaction towards Marina's depression and suicide. However I interpreted it quite differently taking into account his experience growing up with a father he could never please. It definitely didn't help when he essentially had to relive this in adulthood out of a sense of duty. The only ways he could interpret Marina's depression was as a personal failure and an act of harshness/cruelty by the other party. This was set in the 1800s where the idea of mental health was not understood as it is now.
I'm also bewildered that lot of people were upset by his picking up the switch?? I don't condone corporal punishment but it was so clear to me that he did not have a good/healthy childhood, and knows only corporal punishment. Heck, I don't think this man even understands familial love/love from a father to his children- which explains why he distances himself from the children. His mother passed at his birth and his (damned and) cruel father was all he knew. JQ makes it clear Phillip tries to refrain from hitting them but ultimately does when he feels driven to it, desperately in fear that by not doing so, he would ruin his children more.
Does all of that excuse Phillip entirely from his actions? Not at all but like many of us, it makes him a complex human with trauma and flaws in a time where not many answers were provided.
Even Elouise- so many people are upset by why she suddenly has a change of heart with Phillip. I didn't feel the surprise other readers did. Elouise is exactly as how Violet described. Elouise is clear on what she desires and as such, she is impatient which is in part why she rejected the previous proposals. However, through the year long letters with Phillip, she has the time and space to grow to care for him. Even then, she goes to see him to <i>consider</i> whether they are suited for each other. When they marry, it is largely due to her brothers and obligation BUT she still retains her doubts.
Content Warnings
Minor: Mental illness and Suicide