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A review by kimball_hansen
Click: The Magic of Instant Connections by Ori Brafman, Rom Brafman
4.0
Loved this book. It could have been longer, it was only 5 ish hours. The principles in this book should be taught in schools, businesses, relationship courses, etc. I've been talking about some of these principles in here for decades now. Such as, "Shared adversity brings people together." I learned that from [b:Angels & Demons|960|Angels & Demons (Robert Langdon, #1)|Dan Brown|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1639587647l/960._SY75_.jpg|3338963].
Or
"There is tremendous power in casual, spontaneous interaction and seeing each other frequently." This can also be described as the Distance Decay Method. I learned that in my Human Geography course at Mesa Community College. No wonder some of my situational friends don't talk to me anymore (mission, college, previous jobs). It creates a social glue and conflict is less likely to arise. Familiarity breeds regard, not contempt. I hate situational friends like that loser Jamie Pyne from college.
Notes:
Clicking can be defined as an immediate, deep, and meaningful connection with another person or the world around us. It usually takes weeks or months to connect with a person. It's not always romantic love.
Clicking brings about a unique almost euphoric state, one that is almost magical. It permanently alters the fundamental nature of the relationship. And finally, it can serve to elevate our own personal abilities.
Euphoric, energizing, thrilling, special. These are feelings of click.
The experience of clicking can remain a permanent part of the relationship. You are in your own world.
Whatever couples lack in commonality, they make up for it in mutual passion.
When we get queues that we're liked, we're automatically drawn to like the other person in return. Yep, yep, yep.
Vulnerability and self disclosure obtain an instant connection with another. They accelerate your ability to connect with those around you. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable helps the other person to trust you. They will usually be open and vulnerable, too. I hate people that are closed off and don't open up. Be vulnerable dang it! And I hate Brene Brown, too. You didn't invent that word, vulnerable, even though everyone associates it with you now.
5 levels of vulnerable:
(Thought oriented)
Social niceties
↓
Factual
↓
Evaluative
(Emotional-connected statements)
↓
Gut level statements
↓
Peak statements
Even "computers" (when programmed so) can open up and people will open up to them.
Clinton helped win the election because he opened up about his past. That and his "I feel your pain."
Self disclosing establishes instant intimacy. When done at the right time and with the right person, can transform a relationship and you can trust the other person, wanting to get to know them on a deeper, meaningful level.
You're 30x more likely to laugh a joke when you're with others than when you were alone.
It's not necessarily what you agree on but rather the extent of your agreement.
Well that's too bad that the Kelly Hildebrandt couple got divorced. I really liked that story. They were the couple where the girl searched on bookface her exact name to see if there was anyone else out there. She found a guy around her age and messaged him and they eventually got married. But now I spoiled it for you. Google their name.
You can bond closer with someone by talking about your worst day rather than your best day.
Interactions in which we click, don't just affect the strength of our relationship with the other person, they bring out the best in us. The authors could have done a better job of expounding on how Clicking can bring out the best in us. They repeated it again in their last sentence of the book, yet I still don't know how it does, just that it does.
I think.
2nd Read Update: 4 stars still
Dang, I had read this already without realizing it! How could that be??
Wished he would have said what happened when the comedy guy, Welch, started off his skit with the terrible introduction by the MC.
His example of the two Kelly's clicking and getting married later ended up getting divorced.
The concept of shared adversity brings people together like no other. Hence, the rise of suicide and depression in cushy 1st world countries.
Or
"There is tremendous power in casual, spontaneous interaction and seeing each other frequently." This can also be described as the Distance Decay Method. I learned that in my Human Geography course at Mesa Community College. No wonder some of my situational friends don't talk to me anymore (mission, college, previous jobs). It creates a social glue and conflict is less likely to arise. Familiarity breeds regard, not contempt. I hate situational friends like that loser Jamie Pyne from college.
Notes:
Clicking can be defined as an immediate, deep, and meaningful connection with another person or the world around us. It usually takes weeks or months to connect with a person. It's not always romantic love.
Clicking brings about a unique almost euphoric state, one that is almost magical. It permanently alters the fundamental nature of the relationship. And finally, it can serve to elevate our own personal abilities.
Euphoric, energizing, thrilling, special. These are feelings of click.
The experience of clicking can remain a permanent part of the relationship. You are in your own world.
Whatever couples lack in commonality, they make up for it in mutual passion.
When we get queues that we're liked, we're automatically drawn to like the other person in return. Yep, yep, yep.
Vulnerability and self disclosure obtain an instant connection with another. They accelerate your ability to connect with those around you. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable helps the other person to trust you. They will usually be open and vulnerable, too. I hate people that are closed off and don't open up. Be vulnerable dang it! And I hate Brene Brown, too. You didn't invent that word, vulnerable, even though everyone associates it with you now.
5 levels of vulnerable:
(Thought oriented)
Social niceties
↓
Factual
↓
Evaluative
(Emotional-connected statements)
↓
Gut level statements
↓
Peak statements
Even "computers" (when programmed so) can open up and people will open up to them.
Clinton helped win the election because he opened up about his past. That and his "I feel your pain."
Self disclosing establishes instant intimacy. When done at the right time and with the right person, can transform a relationship and you can trust the other person, wanting to get to know them on a deeper, meaningful level.
You're 30x more likely to laugh a joke when you're with others than when you were alone.
It's not necessarily what you agree on but rather the extent of your agreement.
Well that's too bad that the Kelly Hildebrandt couple got divorced. I really liked that story. They were the couple where the girl searched on bookface her exact name to see if there was anyone else out there. She found a guy around her age and messaged him and they eventually got married. But now I spoiled it for you. Google their name.
You can bond closer with someone by talking about your worst day rather than your best day.
Interactions in which we click, don't just affect the strength of our relationship with the other person, they bring out the best in us. The authors could have done a better job of expounding on how Clicking can bring out the best in us. They repeated it again in their last sentence of the book, yet I still don't know how it does, just that it does.
I think.
2nd Read Update: 4 stars still
Dang, I had read this already without realizing it! How could that be??
Wished he would have said what happened when the comedy guy, Welch, started off his skit with the terrible introduction by the MC.
His example of the two Kelly's clicking and getting married later ended up getting divorced.
The concept of shared adversity brings people together like no other. Hence, the rise of suicide and depression in cushy 1st world countries.