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A review by readwithzelda
Aftermath: On Marriage and Separation by Rachel Cusk
challenging
emotional
reflective
slow-paced
4.0
As a memoir, it is just a brief snapshot. Cusk is living through the aftermath of her divorce. There was a progression of grief, from anger about the patriarchy and the lies she’d been fed about marriage, going through pain alone, to how she was going to mother, to falling into a deep depression, to somewhat of a healing/redemption/acceptance in the chapter of XYZ.
The final chapter, where she is telling the story from the POV of a young nanny is so fascinating and I really enjoyed it, although it was jarring at first. It seemed sort of like a thank-you letter to the young woman? But also just how her life while important to her, is only tangentially related to another. Is it form of distancing herself from the pain? Yet it’s a gripping illustration of what the pain looks like from an outsider.
Personally, when I am faced with overwhleming emotions I tend to escape into intellectualisation, trying to rationalize away what I’m feeling. At times, that’s how this book felt. There were gut-wrenching moments, but then long detailed explanations of Greek myths, or discussions of other various small things. So at times it felt a little uneven.
That said - when the gut punches hit, they hit hard, so I’m not sure I’d want the entire book to be just that either.
Some of the reviews that I have read criticize this book for being so raw and full of the present emotions she’s feeling rather than reflecting on them. I suppose that’s what a memoir is supposed to be, remembering emotions and then reflecting on them, couching them for the reader in some perspective.
But I appreciate how real she is in her telling, I love how incredibly present it is. I am willing to accept that this is a moment in time and that she will grow past it, and may come to feel differently. I don’t necessarily feel that just because she put it in print that she will feel this way forever. Nor do I think that she needs to give us justifications for her feelings. I suppose I feel this way because I relate to a lot of it, and maybe it’s just timing.
Overall I loved this, and I look forward to reading more Cusk.
The final chapter, where she is telling the story from the POV of a young nanny is so fascinating and I really enjoyed it, although it was jarring at first. It seemed sort of like a thank-you letter to the young woman? But also just how her life while important to her, is only tangentially related to another. Is it form of distancing herself from the pain? Yet it’s a gripping illustration of what the pain looks like from an outsider.
Personally, when I am faced with overwhleming emotions I tend to escape into intellectualisation, trying to rationalize away what I’m feeling. At times, that’s how this book felt. There were gut-wrenching moments, but then long detailed explanations of Greek myths, or discussions of other various small things. So at times it felt a little uneven.
That said - when the gut punches hit, they hit hard, so I’m not sure I’d want the entire book to be just that either.
Some of the reviews that I have read criticize this book for being so raw and full of the present emotions she’s feeling rather than reflecting on them. I suppose that’s what a memoir is supposed to be, remembering emotions and then reflecting on them, couching them for the reader in some perspective.
But I appreciate how real she is in her telling, I love how incredibly present it is. I am willing to accept that this is a moment in time and that she will grow past it, and may come to feel differently. I don’t necessarily feel that just because she put it in print that she will feel this way forever. Nor do I think that she needs to give us justifications for her feelings. I suppose I feel this way because I relate to a lot of it, and maybe it’s just timing.
Overall I loved this, and I look forward to reading more Cusk.